Turtle? Turtle? Is that what you said?
You must be crazy, I’d say.
Crazy, as in very, very mad.
I’m a tortoise, if you may.
~
I mean, yeah, we’ve both got shells,
And we’re both reptiles, sure.
But look it up, Orabelle.
Say we’re the same, and you’re-
~
Right? No no no, that couldn’t be.
Tortoises are turtles? No!
Turtles aren’t the same as me!
They’re far too wet and slow!
~
What do you know? You probably
rigged it! You made it quite the fake.
I mean, you joined the race illegally!
It’s a tortoise’ race, for heaven’s sake!
~
However, you are my friend,
My dear Miss Avenue,
And while this is not the end,
I might believe it all for you.
~
- Sincerely, to you, dear human,
A tortoise, not a turtle.
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125,024 Literary Works • 672,762 Reviews
Still a fabulous poem!
Aww, thank you so much alliyah!!! ^^ I can't believe it's been a year since I wrote it... I guess not it make sense again! XD
I love this! Using humor to describe something I know many human mistake, me included. A great way to tell an audience the difference between the two. I love how this flows and has just the right amount of rhyming. Overall, a very fun read. Keep on writing!
Thank you so much for your kind comment! I loved reading it.
Hi there, Orabella!
(Though, I'm not experienced with poetry, so my feedback might not be that accurate or helpful. ;-; I'll try my best though!)
Found this poem on the literary spotlight, and the cover picture's also very cute, so I wanted to drop by and leave a quick review!
Firstly, the poem as a whole is very cute and funny. I like that it's formatted as a letter to a human. I've definitely been guilty of thinking tortoises are turtles lol. (Sorry, tortoise-)
Secondly, I love how the poem has clear rhyming and rhythm. It takes a lot of creativity to make the lines rhyme, and even more so when the prompt has to do with tortoises. But you managed to pull it off well. The places where the lines cut off also feels right. (Eg: After "You probably" in stanza 4)
For your question, yes, I think both are pretty clear now! It could be that YWS puts the title "Dear Human" way at the top, so some people might've missed that and didn't know it was a letter till the last stanza. Overall, though, it makes sense who's speaking. ^_^
I actually think the part that confused me a little were Stanzas 4 and 5. I wasn't sure what the "race" and "end" was about. Mainly these lines:
I'm guessing that the human jumped into the race, which is why the tortoise said it was rigged? Or maybe a turtle did?
But all in all, this is a sweet and wholesome poem about one angry tortoise, and a very fun read.
Thank you so much for reviewing! And it was very helpful, even though you claim you have no experience. As for your questions...
What I meant by "not the end", is not the end of the conversation. And the race was referring to the great tortoise race, which I'd joined, but my tortoise friend believed it was wrong of me because he thought humans weren't supposed to join. It's a tortoise race!
And technically, you're right that tortoises are turtles. The tortoise in the poem just doesn't believe it because he says they're so different.
I hope I explained in a way that makes sense. Thanks again!
OHH Ic Ic- ack, I forgot about the tortoise race thing!! Ok, that makes more sense now. Ty for the explanation
And ohh, they're the same?! XDD I needa brush up on my animal facts-
You're welcome! And honestly I didn't know they were the same either until I searched it up while researching for this poem.
Hello there! This is loveissourgrapes and I am here to give a little comment/review on your fun poem. This poem is perfect for the tortoise race, hihi. Cute cover art too c:
Turtle? Turtle? Is that what you said?
You must be crazy, I’d say.
Crazy, as in very, very mad.
I’m a tortoise, if you may.
This stanza reminds me of Dr. Seuss' books. It brings me back to my childhood especially where the it has questions and answers on each line and they rhythm well.
I mean, yeah, we’ve both got shells,
And we’re both reptiles, sure.
But look it up, Orabelle.
Say we’re the same, and you’re-
Orabelle seems like a name inspired by your username. Is it? It's funny that I can imagine a human talking a talking tortoise. Mistaking it for a turtle. This could be a poem part of a children's book. It's good that way.
Right? No no no, that couldn’t be.
Tortoises are turtles? No!
Turtles aren’t the same as me!
They’re far too wet and slow!
The repeating words are fun. Wet and slow? Aren't tortoises slow too and turtles are faster than tortoises? This stanza could be a metaphor too.
What do you know? You probably…
Rigged it! You made it quite the fake.
I mean, you joined the race illegally!
It’s a tortoise’ race, for heaven’s sake!
I love how you got to mention the tortoise race here. I can see a annoyed little cute tortoise saying this. A questions though. Is the tortoise saying all the dialogue in the poem or the human gets to speak too?
But I guess I can believe
Something that’s somehow “true”.
Though I think you’re utterly naïve,
I’ll believe it all for you.
This is my favorite stanza. It is also good for an ending to close the poem. Over all, the story and the grammar was written well. I don't see any flaws. Good job and keep on writing! Have a lovely day/night!
Thank you so much for reviewing! And yeah, the tortoise is saying all the dialogue. Sorry that's not clear, but I think I'm gonna go back and fix that.
As for the "wet and slow", according to one source, tortoises are a type of turtle, but not all turtles are tortoises. If you think of a Venn Diagram, tortoise would be a circle inside of turtle. So my tortoise friend here is trying to prove they're different from turtles, in that all tortoises live mainly on land, while some turtles (e.g. sea turtles) live in the water. Of course, they're both slow, but the narrator is trying to say they're faster than the average turtle or tortoise. (Okay, I'm just blabbering. Sorry if it all doesn't make much sense)
And yeah, Orabelle is a play on my username. When I originally wrote this, I was thinking the tortoise was talking to me after I called them a turtle. I may change this as well, but maybe not.
You're welcome and thank you for making it clearer for me <33
Thanks and of course! ^^
Hey Orabella,
Thank you very much for writing something Tortoise related for my tortoise contest! This is a perfect edition to YWS especially during the Great Tortoise Race when tortoises and all their splendid personalities are on our minds.
Here's some thoughts!
My very first thought when reading this is to remember a few years ago during the Great Tortoise Race month @Mageheart actually made like an informational post about the difference between tortoises and turtles because for whatever reason it is so easy for people to mix those up. It's kind of humorous in a way that people do that like with toads + frogs and alligators + crocodiles. But you're definitely hitting on something that happens a lot!
The general idea of the poem seems to be that a Tortoise is very perturbed at the subject mixing them up with a turtle and wants to set the record straight - they deny the subject's qualifications for the Tortoise Race and continue to argue with them. The tone of the final stanza was a little hard for me to understand because if the speaker thought the subject was "utterly naive" I don't think they'd believe them - so I wasn't sure if the final line was to be taken sarcastically or not.
It's actually really interesting how well the one-sided dialogue works in this case at being completely sensical and portraying emotion and humor - that's hard to do, especially in a rhyming poem - but you do it really quite well. I think the parts where the ellipses (...) were needed, the flow was a little less smooth, but overall this was very easy to follow and funny throughout. Even though we as readers only heard one side of the conversation, it was easy enough to imagine the answers of the other side.
I think the only thing I'd add is maybe looking at the clarity of the final stanza, and potentially adding a stanza of extra insults to turtles for humor-sake. All the rhymes were very smooth and the punctuation and capitalization made sense throughout as well.
A very polished tribute to the Great Tortoise Race and a fun poem about Tortoises even outside of this context!
Thanks again for writing / posting!
alliyah
Aww! Thank you so much! I realize the last stanza is a bit confusing, and it's nice that you told me why. I might go back and fix it... yeah I probably will... but anyways, thanks again for commenting!
I love the spunk of the turtl- I mean tortoise here. They seem EXTREMELY annoyed by the mix up of tortoise and turtle. HAHAHA
This is a cute little poem that is a wonderful ode to the great tortoise race. I also like how the tortoise took about 4 stanzas to react towards being called a turtle. It's nice though that she seemingly had a change of heart at the end.
As it is my job to overanalyze stuff (sometimes), this is a great representation of how we can be opposed to certain things, but in the end we must still respect the other person's view even if we do not necessarily agree with them. For example, I may be extremely opposed to the color red, but my friend likes the color red. Although I may (violently) disagree with them, we still respect and love each other at the end. Same goes for this tortoise who is quite offended about being called a turtle, but still respects the person who called them that.
Overall, this is a cute poem and a great ending to my series of reviews for the great tortoise race! Huzzah!
This is alpacaboss, signing off.
Hi, Turtle I mean...ahem.. TORTOISE Orabella.
Cleverly done.
I'm here to leave you a quick review.
I like your opening line a lot. The repetition of "Turtle" really got the idea across that the speaker feels very strongly about the subject he or she speaks about. Additionally, opening with a question is an easy way for a poet to grab the reader's attention. Nicely done.
I like the conversational tone this piece has. I can totally picture the grumpy tortoise complaining that you are calling him a turtle. "I'm not a wet, muddy thing!!" Kinda like that.
I also love the part about the tortoise complaining that you-a human- competing in a tortoise race while the tortoise him/herself is not allowed to compete is most disgraceful. If it's a Tortoise Race, a tortoise should be allowed to run in it!! I love the use of the word "illegally" there. It really shows how strongly the tortoise feels about it. Good word choice!
I do have one part where I got confused...
Is the tortoise still talking here? Or has the human responded? I'm a little confused as to what that's supposed to mean, but it could just be that I accidently missed the bigger picture as that sometimes happens when I read poetry.
Overall, wonderful job here. I'm sure @alliyah will like this one!
-Tortoise Kaia
Thank you so much! And to answer your question, it's still the tortoise talking. I guess when I wrote it, I imagined that "Orabella" had just told her tortoise friend that he's considered a turtle, and it's backed up by fact. Though, now that you say it, it does sound confusing. Basically it's still written by the tortoise, and he's just discovered that tortoises are in fact a type of turtle.
Ah. Okay. That makes sense. Thanks for clarifying that for me.
Aww this is cute! I love it. A human mistakes a tortoise for a turtle revealing the tortoise's prejudice even though they're the same order of animals. But I think the tortoise seems to be (at least outwardly) accepting of turtles in the last stanza? Cool and epic
Also a nice reference to the great tortoise race obv
Thanks!