Blame the Writer

Hi Orabella!

I'm reviewing your poem as a part of the in-depth poetry reviewing event!

I really like how many different takes you have in this poem as the narrator tries to figure out how to live life as herself. I can feel how you use the extended metaphor of writing and characters to grapple with this topic in different ways.

I'm going to go through stanza by stanza with some comments and then do a little overview at the end.

I'm supposed to be "sophisticated" now
Grown up
Then why do I want to cry at every inconvenience?
Advice for a writer is that a character will always try not to cry
So show their other ways of responding to stress.
By that definition, I'm not a believable character

I liked what chrysanthemumcentury said about the theme of growing up -- it seems to me like it might be partly what motivated the poem or one of the underlying themes. And I'm definitely down to see more of it! But I think what stood out to me was that it dominated the first three lines. It took me a while to see the writing theme in your poem, and I wish that was a little more present from the get-go. While I like the context of growing up, the first three lines by themselves feel like they'll lead to a bit of a different poem, so when we get to "advice for a writer," it comes a little out of the blue. (not quite because of the title, of course!)

Also that advice is so sad. I've never heard that before, but I think it works well with the next line, "So show their other ways of responding to stress" -- despite not having heard that piece of advice, this line helps put it in context! And I think you really pull it together with the last line and bring up the main tension in the poem.

I've been told I'm like a character in a book
Or some kind of story
But at every turn, I'm inconsistent
I don't even know what I'm going to do next
So how can the writer?
Maybe I'm a half-thought out character
A mistake
The author tries to force me to do things
When no one really knows who I am

Ah I really like the lines "I don't even know what I'm going to do next / So how can the writer?" It really feels like that's how life is lived. <3

I was once again a little unsure about the first line: within the context of the next part of the poem, where the narrator is trying to fit in with character stereotypes and isn't, it seems strange to have someone say they're like a book character? When that just doesn't feel true for this poem. But, maybe that's just a comment you've drawn from real life! I think there could be some other ways of presenting that idea, like "I've read so much that I only know / What to do if I'm a character in a book" or something.

I also like how this stanza helps us relate both to the act of writing (struggling to get characters to do things and trying to get to know them!) and being written, being unknown, having to do uncomfortable things.

If I'm the main character,
I'm bland and readers get bored quickly
If I'm the side character, then I must be the most hated
Or the most forgotten
The one in the background that does little to nothing
The character that doesn't make sense
If I'm the villain,
Then who am I fighting against?
If the villain always hurts the hero,
Then everyone in the world is the hero
Except me

Like others have mentioned in their reviews, I really enjoy how the narrator tries on different caps in this section. It helps build on the idea of a "half-thought out character," one who's still searching for their role in the narrative.

I would love to see the traits maybe a little more cohesive? The narrator in different roles is bland (/boring), hated, forgotten, and does nothing. In the previous stanza, the kind of key descriptor word (for me) was "inconsistent," someone still figuring themselves out. I get the bland part and doing nothing, because to me that sort of goes along with figuring things out and just sort of going back and forth with indecision. But then, I'm not sure where the hated and forgotten come from! Other than they feel like self-doubt, which is definitely important. It could be neat to see an elaboration on why the narrator doesn't fit those types -- why hated? Because they don't have the humor that side characters should have? Or because they don't support the main character enough? I think there's a lot you could delve into here.

The last thing I would mention is the last three lines -- I agree with candyhearts that they are strongly signaling that isolation and I like it. But I also got a wee bit confused, mostly because I couldn't tell if everyone except the narrator is the hero because the narrator is the villain, or because the narrator is the only one not being hurt by a villain? I just got a little turned around in the terms, I think.

I'm no character in any book
I think I'm just trying to make my life a fantasy
Then I'll have an excuse for the way I am
Maybe I'm just looking for a writer to put the blame on

LOVE the shift away from trying on hats to a deeper reflection. I think it works really well, especially with how the poem's been progressing! I feel like as I'm reading, the narrator has been sort of going along in this reflection and gaining some confidence until we get to the strong ending.

Also, that last line is a zinger! I felt that super strongly, because sometimes life is just like that -- it would sure be nice to put the blame on a writer. But, I really appreciate that the narrator is coming to terms with needing that excuse and how to stand without it.

One day I'll write my own story
With a character that doesn't know herself
She'll make mistakes,
But she'll be the way she is
And when she does things wrong,
At least I'll know that she can blame me.
But she'll realize it doesn't matter who's controlling the story.
She'll realize you don't have to be good all the time to be a hero.
She'll realize you can be a villain to some,
But still be loved by others
She'll realize she can write her own story.

And with that, we come to the stellar conclusion of your poem! I really like how you turned the confusion into optimism. It's a really empowering stanza. I really like "She'll be the way she is" (woo!) and particularly the last three lines. I think it was a great idea to re-incorporate that villain/hero imagery in a nice way, that's also reflective of the more realistic tone.

I can't help but notice that the ending is still a little distanced from the narrator -- despite all of the empowering statements, they aren't directed towards the narrator, but towards their future character. It's like the narrator is getting close to coming to that kind of triumphant conclusion, but can't quite do it for themself yet. Instead, they have it realized in a character. So that sort of brings us full circle with the whole writer/character relationship, and makes you think about the poem a little differently.

Coming to that ending again, after a few reads through the poem, I mentioned that progression and reflection of the narrator. It also felt to me slightly like you as a writer might have come to those conclusions while working through the poem? Because the beginning really *did* feel a little different. Forgive me if I'm wrong about that, though! What I'm thinking is, now that we know sort of how the ending works, it would be interesting to bring some of that stuff more to earlier parts of the poem...

Of course, it makes sense for the narrator to still be sorting things out earlier on! And I like the whole "trying on hats" part. But I guess stuff about the control of the writer versus the character doesn't come up earlier on, and looking back on the first stanza, it doesn't quite seem on the same track as the second half of the poem, when things really get into a groove and sort of continuously follow the same themes. Does that make sense?

Overall, a really interesting poem! It's one that makes readers think, which I really appreciate. You've got us seeing both the perspective of the writer and of a half-finished character, while also walking us through the realization that life isn't necessarily like writing stereotypes, but that that's okay. It just really felt like a poem that *blossomed* as it went on, which I enjoyed. And a really creative way of approaching some difficult subject matter!

Thanks for writing this. Please let me know if you have any questions!

-Q

hi orabella~☆ this review is being brought to you by the indepth poetry revewing event! alright- let's get into it!

theme :]
it's very clear that you're talking about being a character in a story, as if your fate has already been written for you. you made quite a few twists on the classic tropes in writing ("showing" not "telling" - stanza 1, stanza 3 which wasprobably my favorite? very existential, spin on the trope of a character "forging their own path" - stanza 5) which fit perfectly with the vibe you were going for! it's also very existential, pondering one's being and by extent their true meaning.

striking lines :]
you create this beautiful sense of having something or someone that is watching you- actively forcing choices onto you- and this creates some really beautiful, haunting lines, such as:

Advice for a writer is that a character will always try not to cry
So show their other ways of responding to stress.
By that definition, I'm not a believable character

which, first of all, is so beautiful not only in the sense that like "oh i relate to this" but in the sense that as writers, we are told that there is a set "way" to describe humans, which are, as we know, xomplex- being a "believelable character" is hard when we say "oh show don't tell" because sometimes telling is the best thing to do. ALSO it's just such a beautiful way to poke fun at how writing can be.
another one is:

I think I'm just trying to make my life a fantasy
Then I'll have an excuse for the way I am

which i find is a perfect way to describe how being alive is- we have this idealized fantasy that lives in our heads, but this eorld we live in is not said fantasy, which makes it so hard to find an explination of why we are the way we are.

i have more, but these 2 stuck out the most to me.

critiques & nitpicks :]
this poem is srunning, and still, there are a couple things i'd like to talk about. 1) in the beginning, you start talking about being "grown up"- i wish you talked about that more! how does growing up affect our character arcs or whatever? good thing to think about. 2) there are some lines that feel oddly short in comparison to others, i.e

I'm supposed to be "sophisticated" now
Grown up

you could combine these, if you wanted to at least.

overall :]
this poem was beautiful- and quite honestly one of my favorites at the moment. you describe the human expirience in a way; feeling as if you are not quite the perfect character, or a character that's seen at all, instead feeling like everything is crashing down, or as you put it "looking for a writer to blame it on." stunning.

-never stop writing!-
~☆century☆~

Hai :3

I love how you’ve written this ~~ It’s like you're speaking directly to the reader's soul!! The way you’ve woven the idea of being a character in a story but feeling out of control, like you’re at the mercy of some unseen author is chilling. The world tells us we’re supposed to have it all together, but we’re still wanting to cry at the smallest inconveniences. That's sososo relatable, I'm obsessed!!

It's like, you’re touching on this insecurity that so many people have about feeling unimportant or like they’re not living up to expectations, but you express it in a way that’s so honest and raw ~~ The way you keep shifting between roles (main character / side character / villain) makes it feel like you’re showing how lost someone can get when they’re searching for a place to belong, but everything feels off. That's so real!!

If the villain always hurts the hero,
then everyone in the world is the hero
except me

This is a massive punch to the gut!! It really speaks to that feeling of isolation, like the world is good for everyone else but you, you know?! It’s such a deep and powerful way to express feeling like an outsider, but also questioning your own role in the bigger picture. I adore that overarching theme here!! I think you've captured the feeling so accurately I can feel your emotions come off the page.

Maybe one day I'll write my own story

One thing I noticed is that you use "maybe" a lot, especially towards the end. While it adds to the feeling of uncertainty (which is super effective!!), it starts to feel a bit repetitive. You could play around with rephrasing a few of those lines, like this one, so they still keep the introspective vibe without the repetition. You could go with something like "Someday, I’ll take control of the story," or something that feels a little more assertive in places. You have to be confident in your imagery!!

^^^ Similar thought I had: I love the ideas you throw around, but like, it feels like a jumping-off point that’s introduced and then you kinda leave it behind. The villain section, for example ~~ It's very reflective, which is great, but a few vivid details could ground it more. Like, what does it feel like to be the villain fighting against the world? You could play with metaphors or specific scenarios where the speaker has felt like they’re the villain, or mention their origin story.

Maybe, one day, she'll find herself.
Maybe one day, she can be at peace.

This is a great ending!! It’s like there’s this glimmer of hope that maybe one day, the character will find peace, and that just rounds everything out so beautifully. It's so empowering in a quiet, subtle way. The character might not have it figured out now, but there’s this sense that one day, someday, things will fall into place.

This poem is so thoughtful and deep, but it also feels like a conversation!! It’s so easy to connect with, and I adore everything about it!! ^_^

- Payton