Entry for a (not-so-private) journal

Hia!
Oh man ☹ Is the narrator here based on yourself? I already find it sad that not only is the narrator “given” away but they also end up in an unstable environment afterward .-.

I find this stanza particularly powerful:

I didn't notice
The wine glasses
The cigarette butts.
Why would I?

She didn't hold on
In case you're curious

Hey @NotReallyHuman , I think this poem is beautiful! Keep writing please!

Hey @NotReallyHuman! Here to offer a review of your poem!

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Interpretation
I interpreted this poem to be exactly what the title says a personal reflection of life, especially the parts that are difficult and how the speaker (presumably you!) has found solace within a group of friends. It is pretty straight forward, but that does make it easy to understand the message.

If I'm understanding correctly the speaker was given up for adoption and had some challenges growing up with their parents, they found peace and hope with their dog as their friend, but the dog sadly passed away. Their new friends offer another chance to break out of the pain they've felt and continue onward in hope and belonging.

I like the progression as it felt very narrative with a clear conflict and resolution at the end.

Impact
The descriptions of some of the pain of the speaker start to hint at some very serious themes, possibly cutting and abuse, and being around drinking and smoking at a young age - I think a little more could be delved into the emotive impact of these things, as they may be difficult for others to understand, but also because they are sensitive I really understand keeping them a bit brief within the big picture! Sometimes a way to deal with sensitive themes without going more deeply into them, is to talk about them in a more metaphorical way...

ie. you could talk about the weight of cigarette smoke like a cloud pushing down on the speaker... a haze of anxiety and unknown expectations...

or could talk about the grief of losing the pet with the metaphor of a well or being lost in a forest.

By using metaphor you can kind of engage with those deeper emotive subjects to engage the reader's sense of empathy and understanding, without necessarily needing to be explicit. Just an idea of maybe where to expand!

As the poem stood I did find it impactful to read and felt sympathy for the speaker as I can resonate with the emotions of losing someone important to me, as well as the weight of having challenging parental figure(s) even if I can't resonate with the specific challenges in the poem itself. I think a lot of people can relate at some level with the challenges of grief and struggle to belong.

Strengths

The poem had great narrative progression, I could see very clearly how the beginning of the poem led to the middle and then led to the end, it was clear to follow and didn't take any need to guess!

I love the bit of imaginative language you had for plays on the usernames of some of your friends - that added a creative flare to the poem and a sense of personality.

Growing Edges

The capitalization in the last stanza felt a bit random. Typically folks go with one of a few methods:

Sentence case. Where the first letter of every sentence is capitalized,
no matter where it falls in the line breaks.

Line case. where the first letter of each line is capitalized
No matter where it falls in the sentence. (And also
Sometimes the first letter of sentences)

Stanza case. where the first letter of each stanza is always capitalized.

all lowercase, all the time.
no matter what. because aesthetic reasons.


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You seemed to kind of fluctuate between a few techniques and it made it feel a bit random and without intention at the end there - I would choose one method and stick to it for consistency / clarity.

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The other area I think could take a second look is the first stanza:

I was born
Like everyone else
That much is obvious.

@bladassare @LadyMysterio @thehoplessromantic @ToastK