Death Wish

Translation:
My heart lies withered,
Sinking into a dark abyss.
This body that longs for death—
Though the autumn wind blows,
Even dreams come to naught.
My brush is soaked in tears,
Words utterly exhausted,
Only awaiting death, it seems.
The moon, they say, shines
Upon my distant homeland,
Yet here I remain,
My body cast upon the rocks.

(it rhymes in Japanese >/<)

I thought it was so cool that you wrote a poem in Japanese! Now, I wish I listened to my 13-year-old self and stuck to studying Japanese lol.

I believe that this poem is about being at your lowest and feeling like you're far away from home, wherever home might be, and not being able to get there. I read a reply of yours to another review and saw that you said that the brush you're referring to in the poem is a makeup brush. I'm not sure how it would be done in Japanese, but maybe adding an action associated with the brush like putting on eyeshadow or blush would make it more clear in the English translation. But, I thought the idea of a makeup brush interesting because it made me think of how the character in the poem is perhaps also tired of performing for others and wearing this mask. Looking beautiful is simply not enough for them because they're not being seen for who they are and no one is seeing that they're on the edge of giving up.

A line that I pondered on for a bit was

Though the autumn wind blows,
Even dreams come to naught.

I love the choice to write this in Japanese. I wish I could read it so could know how it rhymes but even in English it reads very well.

This poem is best described as hopeless. The diction alone is depressing and characterizes the author as someone with nothing to live for, except to wait for their own death. “Yet here I remain, my body cast upon the rocks.” And “Only awaiting death, it seems.”

Something I’d like to ask is, what do you mean when you say “My brush is soaked in tears…”? Also, is there a special meaning behind the part talking about the moon and a distant homeland?

Overall a good work that’s relatable to my past, which I can greatly appreciate. People say depressive works like this one do more harm than good but I see them as a way to reflect, accept our past, and grow, or help us realize we aren’t alone. So yeah good job!