z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone Violence

The Hunt

by Nightlyowl


Darkness crawls, into the sky
The mountain wind, a sullen sigh.
Trees stand tall – they’re all around
And snow falls bright, upon the ground.

Boughs are bare, of all their leaves,
As children creep – like little thieves.
They pile in, the silent groves,
They come in groups, they come in droves.

They make their circle, to spin and dance
Thoughtless, and wild, like a fairy trance.
They spin and laugh – they’re playing games
They do not know the Shadows’ Shames.
For something comes, in the pale moonlight
Creeping silently, just out of sight.
They do not see – they do not hear,
The Beast of Darkness – the Beast of Fear.

They do not know, what Darkness hides
All is good, inside their minds.
It sees them – But they see friends
They can’t know what Fate intends.

So while their backs are turned away
The Beast will hunt – the Beast will slay
It is released, from its hidden lair
Now it’s free to rip and tear.

The Beast escapes, into the night
Snow is red – but once was white
The children scream – the children cry
A child lays beneath the sky
Their eyes are open – but they don’t see
The other children run and flee.
When they run, the Beast will chase
Their blood to drink – their flesh to taste.

It’s hard to run on tiny feet
When all around, the ice’s a sheet.
Their hearts, they pound inside their chest –
There is no time, to sit and rest.

A child slows – she can’t go on –
An easy target – a helpless fawn.
And when a fawn is all alone,
The Beast will eat its flesh and bone.

A scream – it cuts the icy chill
The girl, she falls, and now lay’s still.
A muzzle lined, with razored teeth
Drips her blood – to snow beneath.
Her skin it’s cold, as cold as stone
There’s still so much, she’s never known.
Innocent child, not meant to die,
Hears the Beast’s soft mournful cry.


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13 Reviews


Points: 145
Reviews: 13

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Mon Nov 17, 2014 4:23 pm
Castiel wrote a review...



Hello, Castiel Here!
Wow. just, wow. this gave me chills. You did a really good job. I feel like i just watched an episode of supernatural. haha...
I noticed a lot of it's in there where the ' wasn't needed.
I love the vocabulary- you definitely used some choice words in there!
Also, you did a great job with the rhyme.
I love rhyming stuff, and you definitely did a fantastic job. The poem reminded me also of Edgar Allen Poe's work; it was very eerie and dark. Overall you did a great job (or as i like to say, STABULOUS!!!)
:D
Bravo!




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78 Reviews


Points: 517
Reviews: 78

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Fri Feb 14, 2014 11:48 pm
Hadj wrote a review...



I really like this poem!
Very creepy, and a well thought rhyme scheme.
It reminded me of reading Lord of the Flies. :)

Just a few errors:
"darkness crawls, into the sky" no comma needed
"and now lay's still" should be "and now lays still"

Overall, very nice work, keep writing! :D
(Liked and followed!)

~Hadj




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17 Reviews


Points: 620
Reviews: 17

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Sat Feb 08, 2014 7:42 pm
221 wrote a review...



This is a very cool and thoughtful poem. It is obvious how much work was put into this and it was very intriguing. It had a really cool vibe to it as well as a nice rhyme scheme. I thought this was a very dark poem but it says a lot about weakness and how vulnerable children can be. This poem was a very interesting one to read and I thought you did a marvelous job. Good work I enjoyed reading it :)





People with writer's blocks should get together and build a castle.
— Love