Have you ever felt so empty,
You thought there was nothing there?
Have you ever heard the silence,
That lingers in the air?
Have you ever seen the cold,
That escapes from parted lips?
Have you ever felt a distance,
That keeps you in its grips?
There is a silence in my mind,
That keeps me in a daze.
A cold that creeps from bones,
And locks me in a cage.
There was a time, I thought,
You always held my key.
But now I’ve come to realize,
This is all I’ll ever see.
This cage will keep me silent.
This cage will keep me still.
I am a tainted memory,
Of what the silence killed.
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139,679 Literary Works • 672,648 Reviews
Hey there! Storybraniac here to review for Mazarine Marauders. This is a really good poem. I loved the part
"There is a silence in my mind,
That keeps me in a daze.
A cold that creeps from bones,
And locks me in a cage."
This is a really good poem. The good thing is that I did not find any nitpicks or any grammatical mistakes or any spelling errors. (As I think). You are a really good writer. Keep writing. A definite like from me.
-Stor
Hello Joshua here reviewing
I liked this poem because I thought the poem gave off a distinct feeling that made me wonder.... if that makes sense its the only way i can explain myself xD it was really descriptive, plus punctuation was perfect i couldn't find any mistakes in it really cx it was really nice to finally see a poem that is good and also rhyme it just makes it that much better, I am not really good at rhyming myself but i love reading them cx I really have no problems with this cause i even liked the font keep writing poems
yours truly
-joshua-
Hello NightlyOwl.
I really liked the feeling that this poem gave off. To me, it felt almost dreamlike, but that's just me. I'm still trying to interpret the deeper meaning of this (and I'm KNOW there is deeper meaning), but for now I'll just stick to what I got from reading it. You provide a really good sense of pain and sadness within this, and that is possibly my favorite part of the poem.
The style of rhyming that you used was also quite good. It makes the poem easy to read. I also like the fact that you found so many different words to rhyme. It is very, very creative!
There is only one suggestion that I have for this, silly as it may seem. I... didn't like the font you used. I know, I know, it has nothing to do with the poem, but please, could you make the font a little bigger? It would make it much easier on the eyes.
Other than the font, I found absolutely nothing wrong with this! Great poem!
~Cirute
I'm sorry about the font! I really don't know how to fix it though... I hit download and that's the font the site picked... so sorry...:/