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139,679 Literary Works • 672,648 Reviews
Hey there! First of all, your dad wrote a really nice poem.
I'd like to point out the two stanzas that I particularly liked.
There's a minor error in The title, “Lord Laughter” forever lonely. Since 'Lord Laughter' is a title, it's a name. So, a comma is needed after that.
The title, "Lord Laughter", forever lonely
Also, for Woe to you oh wanton fool, a comma would help with the flow of the poem, since it indicates a pause. So, it'd be:
Woe to you, oh wanton fool
Your dad writes really well. Hope to read some of your work soon! Leave a post on my wall or something. Seeya 'round!
I'm glad you all like it as much as I do. And nope that's the right word, it means lack of honesty or murals. The poem has two sides to look at it.
Hail to thee, Oh painted fool
Hope this helps! Please keep writing! Your work is AMAZING!
Ruling regent of humoresque
Intrepid king with stately ring
Raining tears with capriciousness
Thou the one with painted face
That masques the sun away
For the victor go the spoils
Two face another day
Woe to you oh wanton fool
Oh emperor of improbity
For as the stars and the night there be
The title, “Lord Laughter” forever lonely
Thou the one with the painted face
Captive of old and young
In your kingdom no blissful bliss
Oh monarch of mockery’s tongue
This was a fantastic piece of work! It was very well written! The only thing I spotted wrong with it was that improbity I think you may have meant improbability
Wow...I love this! This is great, I don't think I'd change or critique a single thing. Wonderful
I'd like to see more from you!! Keep writing