Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.
Step slow.
The wind will blow around us.
Our tears will dry on cracked cheeks.
Wolves howl from the trees.
Beauty, purity, and humility are our only virtues,
so they repeat.
Beauty, Purity, Humility-
Steps stumble over rocks as the crowd hurls abuse.
Our fingertips sore,
aching from years of trying to find sleep in the prick of the needle
Ribs curved inward,
vainly protecting a heart long broken.
Foolishly, they pierce our lungs.
This is why it's hard to speak.
This is why we gasp,
jagged remains of what we could have been.
Powerful.
Smoke from firey veins that have forgotten the taste of blood.
We thirst.
Calling out
Singing loud
Screaming,
there are terrors larger than wolves in these woods tonight.
You will know us by our steps.
Slow,
Unsteady,
but ready to reclaim what we have lost.
Fingers clutching,
lungs expanding,
lips wet and red.
Finally,
Satisfied.
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Hey!!
I happened to stumble onto your poem! Haha...it's a bit late, but, hey, I still thought is was freaking AMAZING. I'm so sad this is just a poem.... I see so much potential for a story--maybe even a novel--in this.
Like, your imagery was fabulous and I have absolutely no complaints on it. It was dark enough to have me hooked all throughout. Like, you just leave me wanting more and more!! This isn't fair!!
Seriously, great job and I hope to see much more of you here!
Have a nice day/night!
Sincerely, Writer1204!
I have to say, that was defiantly incredible. Although, you need to add more punctuation. Throughout the whole poem, you didn't have a single coma or period until the very end. I'm defiantly sure you will receive a lot more reviews if you fix these mistakes. But besides that, totally loved it. 100%. I hope you get more reviews in the future.
Thank you for reading!
Throughout the poem my heart hammered. It was really good. I like how you described it. I could really see what was happening. I think you get a great picture formed in the reader's head and they can really tell what is going on. You allow insight to what they are thinking and feeling and I like that. It really made me feel as if I were one of them.
Thank you so much! I'm glad I could invoke a strong reaction!
Great job TMWoods! I could see the setting of the poem and everything. The first part of the poem was kind of creepy, but I like creepy so I am totally good with that. Towards the middle of the poem I was getting the goosebumps and the pain and the torture that was put in to the words (That probably does not make sense, but it does to me so I don't know........).
I could feel the power that was infused in the writing and the words and the sentenses and the phrases were beautiful and intense. Frankly, the middle to end part of the poem was kind of a replay of what has happened to me with loss and other things.
The end of the poem to me was not weird, it reminded me of something reclaiming that it lost, may it be a soul or something else, but I got the end of the poem and all of the other parts.
Great job writing this poem and I really hope that you write more and more of these beautiful and reassuring poems.
~PoeticCowboy
Thank you so much for your feedback!
Woah~ Do I sense some mature or sexual scenes here? Lol. It's really good and I love the flow of your poem. My imagination can be crazy sometimes, but I see a couple doing "you-know-what" thing. Based on what I read on the last five lines.
"Fingers clutching
Lungs expanding
Lips wet and red
Finally
Satisfied."
Am I right? Or am I being dirty minded and I apologize for that hahaha. Too much Game of Thrones lately~ hahaha because I can imagine Ygritte and Jon Snow doing it in the cave (spoiler alert) .
But honestly, its really good. You did a good job. Do keep writing.
I mean I guess I can see it being read that way, but I was definitely more of a mind that these women are like werewolves and they're eating travelers who come into their woods haha... Of course as a written work any way you experience it is valid! Thank you for taking the time to read!