Sometimes when you look past me
I count down dimensions.
Three.
You’re twisting my bones like rags
Trying to extract the very last marrow
Then you proceed to squeeze my stomach until
My organs are lying on the ground.
You flop me over the curtain
So I can dry, and I whisper to myself
Two.
My old body remains lifeless
And you choose to chip away at me.
You take scissors and cut at
The outlines of my hands.
And there are two dimensional pieces
On the floor like a kindergarten classroom.
So you shrug and all I can think of is
One.
It's much more convenient
to walk past someone who doesn't
exist.
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139,502 Literary Works • 672,590 Reviews
Hello there, Monster,
This was an amazing piece and I could relate to it very very easily. You perfectly captured some of the complicated feelings that I have almost every day. The use of dimensions was amazing and extremely creative. You added an innocence to the piece by comparing the two dimensional lifeless pieces of body to litter in a kindergarten classroom, and I think it was a very nice touch. Although, I think the third dimension was a bit graphic, it worked very well as a transition to the second dimension.
I LOVED the first dimension it was perfect and captivating even though it was the shortest one. I really felt like it perfectly tied everything together. It was by far my favorite.
This poem was beautifully thought out and very creative. The use of the human body, dimensions, and depression fit together very well.
Great Job, keep writing,
--Cam
Oh I'm not really good at giving reviews, but I really liked your poem. You can interoperate it in many ways. I really like the countdowns, " One, two, three." There such small words included in the poem , but they also have a strong purpose ( if that makes sense .). I think you did well !
I'm not sure what its suppose to mean
But I took it as someone cutting themselves
Like they've gone through so much that there sorta tired
I'm not sure
Either way it was interesting
You'll find people who can relate
There were no grammar issues
Your sentence structure was perfect
So you did a good job
Keep writing!!!!!!!!!!
I know this poem can mean differently among readers, and that's whats great about poetry.
I'm sorry if my analysis seems too far from what you were trying to bring out off but to me it brings thoughts of a hard life and torture, and the torturer being oblivious to that. Or another thought came to me that its about the suffering a tree goes through before turning into paper, fresh for writing.
I'm not sure if I'm making any sense and whatever it does mean, its safe to say I can relate to this poem and I enjoyed it very much.
I hope to see more of your works in the future, and hope all this hullabaloo helps.
This is an interesting poem. I didn't expect this when I saw the title which can be both good and bad. I honestly like the imagery and how the countdown kind of slow it down in a good way. It is powerful and has hope within it so good job on that.
I can see your talent throught this poem so good job 
But just wondering, is this about a person or an inattimate object? That's a little confusing to me. And this is just 1 poem altogether right? Not three seperate ones? Some of the nitpicks I agree with the others but I see you already got to that
Overall I actually like this poem
I don't like to discuss my analysis of my poems but it is intended to be one poem and it is in the first person
sorry i didn't you don't usually discuss it
Er....is this about a girl???
It is about whatever you want it to be about.
Is this about cloth or something like that? Because it seems strikingly obvious to me but nobody seems to be mentioning it in the comments. And if it is not about a cloth, it really sounds like it is. Just read it again. You'll see what I mean.
Hmm. It does make sense why you would think that, because a cloth usually exemplifies a two dimensional object even though it is technically not (a cloth still has height and width). You can choose what you see though, it is your opinion on my poetry. Also, thank you for reading
First of all, are this three seperate poems or is it one, that is confusing, but I like the details in your poem, it is filled with a lot of power and hope, you have talent and I can see that in your poem.
But I like rhyming poems more then Free verse ones. So I tried to read this one but it was difficult to understand, I hope you have something from this review cause I'm not good in writting reviews.
IIf this are three seperate poems I like the first one the most, but if this is one poem I like the first phrase, hehe, but I hope you let me know how I can read this poem, is it one or tree?
Dazzle
It is one poem.
I love this. The imagery is stunning and the countdown of dimensions slows this down in a beautiful way. I just have three small suggestions:
1. This bit is really weak compared to the rest of the poem because it doesn't really say much and there's no imagery attached at all:
Plus the passive voice of "I am lying there being" feels really awkward.
As it does in this spot...
2.
I'd suggest changing this to "all I can think" or "all I think."
And finally, and smallest of all...
3. I'd delete the "and" here:
It looks like maybe you didn't have it originally, since the "It's" is capitalized. It's just that this bit isn't exactly led into by a previous thought--not the previous thought, anyway, so the "and" seems a bit out of place.
Extremely nitpicky, I know, but that's all I find wrong with this. The imagery is great and it's really powerful.
Blue
Wow o.0 That kinda took my breath away for a second there....I really liked your decription because I think it gives the poem more power and strength. I loved the way you put it into dimensions I think that just added to its awesomeness.
"My old body remains lifeless and you choose to chip at me..." I love this sentence. I feel like you are talking about something MUCH deeper than paper cuts but I can't think of what it is. You have very strong meaning and wording in this poem and it really is mind blowing. Good job. Good luck, and Keep on writing 
Hey Monsters, Strange here and I have a review for you on this fabulous Thursday. Nice Joker avatar, by the way!
This was strong. It brought vivid imagery and realism. Something I never really see in a poem. This is really impressive, extremely impressive. You followed through with a punch. I can't say less than I love this. My favorite lines were
"My old body remains lifeless and you choose to chip away at me." I love this.
"And there are two dimensional pieces on the floor like a kindergarten classroom." Perfect
"You’re twisting my bones like rags
Trying to extract the very last marrow
Then you proceed to squeeze my stomach until
My organs are lying on the ground.
You flop me over the curtain
So I can dry, and I whisper to myself"
That whole stanza is flawless. Just perfect, my *insert gender slang here*. I just can't stop saying I love this.
Overall, FANTASTIC JOB. FANTASTIC
Strange gives you..
I can't rate this
Fantastic job
Keep writing
Stay groovy, my amigo.
-Sledgehammer! approval-