I shed old wounds by wedging my fingers
underneath my rib cage and tearing the flesh outwards.
I find my eight year old self
crawling out of my body every morning
just to go back in because he is afraid,
of reality,
“Don't be afraid” he hears in echoes
as he twist and turns, taking his fists and
digging into walls and it burns, it burns,
an intensity like birth and the nakedness
of screams ringing in the clock towers
like the sound of poverty in the Broncs.
He told me that being himself was
like counting to infinity with 10 fingers
and he counts from 5 to 10, 5 to 10
moving his fingers so fast that it rings
at the frequencies of his reincarnations--
He told me that he has made himself over
so many times that he mapped them out
on the stars, over horizons, named
them in the rocks where he walked home
from school every day,
and he's ran out of everything left in the world
that reminded him of who he was
and he told me he is lost for that reason,
and when he climbs into my stomach once again,
I stitch myself up and get ready for the day.
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139,496 Literary Works • 672,587 Reviews
This was remarkable. I felt every word that was written. I truly enjoyed the meaning of this and i hope you continue to write like this. I think at least one line in this poem will relate to mostly everyone reading it. Very nice job!
I just want to say wow. This was absolutely stunning. I don't really have any comments or suggestions, but I wanted to tell you how amazing this poem is. Really, it is just amazing. When I read the title, I definitely did not expect the direction that you would take this, but I think that just enhanced the quality of work. This is one of those poems that makes you think, even after you've finished it. You can't just read it and walk away; it leaves you thinking about your own process of getting ready for the day, regardless of what it is. And, to me, when a work makes you stop and think after its ending, that is a sign of a truly excellent piece.
--Grey
This poem wow-ed me from the first stanza. I wasn't expecting something like this upon clicking the link. First off, you did a great job conquering this style with out sounding cliche. The violence at the beginning is a great way to begin presenting this piece. It really grabs an audience and draws them into the piece. Your shock value and strong voice doesn't fade as the poem goes on either. Keep up the great work!
Hey
First of all i'd like to say wow, great job keep it up the way your going your going to have a great collection of poems. I think this poem is fantastic. You have great imagery and great word use which many poems don't have, so keep that up. the poem all the way through flowed pretty good . I wouldn't change anything in this poem. Keep it up
Hey there! Purple here to give you a review! Let's get started.
Wow! This poem is absolutely fantastic! Great imagery and use of powerful words in general. This poem immediately grabbed my attention by the first 2 lines and I almost thought it would lose this focus throughout the poem but when I stopped over-thinking it I realized you had kept it there. I wouldn't change anything but I didn't really understand these lines "moving his fingers so fast that it rings at the frequencies of his reincarnations." What is that talking about here? Maybe you could make that a little clearer while still keeping the metaphors in effect.
Keep up the great work and have a nice day!
~Purple
Hey, purple. The stanza below that one talks about him re-making himself, thus reincarnations. Thanks for the review and the incite!
Oh! That makes sense now that you explained it. I would suggest using a different wording than "ring" and "frequencies" then because that implies a sound of some sort. I can't wait to hear more like this from you!
I thought about it more in depth and changed "pain" to "screams" for clarity sake. It seems a bit more appropriate and seems to show more then tell so thanks, again.