Ode to Neruda
inundated, the substance silent
forget-me-nots in bloom
tenacious in collapse
written in resistance
facing the undirected multitude
nation the yellow scar maps
shaken by another night’s fury
as violet vegetation grieves
within a people’s violent sigh
red resistance fleeing the aviary
darkened legacy adrift
months escape, words fly
drowned in acrid metals
drunk with impossible dreams
dishonoring a polished winter
red with murderous rebuttals
sordid things of that sort
a country loved, a people splinter
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140,903 Literary Works • 673,706 Reviews
Babs,
chills like 'Mufassa!?' Are you sure? That has to be the greatest thing I've ever heard.
Yellow Scar: I see what you mean. It is, a yellow scar that maps the nation, but if it disrupts - will edit.
"rusted sacrifice lost"- ka-klunk: No kidding. I re-read it aloud to myself.
You're right again!
"ki-ching!" - Tonya
I'm disgustingly fond of red. Love-hate relationship with yellow, although it is very useful...but it's so 1920s. Green, very tragic, very musical. And so on.
I didn't make this up, it's the truth. I think in colors. Didn't try to. It's part of the reason I have a hard time talking sometimes.
Thank you for pointing at the difference in styles. I love your critiques. Although, it feels weird feeling so chipper around this poem.
Love you,
M.
On Red, Country, Background:
Copy and Pasted from Wiki:
Pablo Neruda (July 12, 1904 – September 23, 1973) was the pen name and, later, legal name of the Chilean writer and politician Neftalí Ricardo Reyes Basoalto. Neruda assumed his pen name as a teenager, partly because it was in vogue, partly to hide his poetry from his father, a rigid man who wanted his son to have a "practical" occupation. Neruda's pen name was derived from Czech writer and poet Jan Neruda; Pablo is thought to be from Paul Verlaine. With his works translated into many languages, Pablo Neruda is considered one of the greatest and most influential poets of the 20th century.
Neruda was accomplished in a variety of styles ranging from erotically charged love poems like his collection Twenty Poems of Love and a Song of Despair, surrealist poems, historical epics, and overtly political manifestos. In 1971 Neruda won the Nobel Prize for Literature, a controversial award because of his political activism. Colombian novelist Gabriel García Márquez once called him "the greatest poet of the 20th century in any language."
On July 15, 1945, at Pacaembu Stadium in São Paulo, Brazil, he read to 100,000 people in honor of Communist revolutionary leader Luís Carlos Prestes When Neruda returned to Chile after his Nobel Prize acceptance speech, Salvador Allende invited him to read at the Estadio Nacional before 70,000 people.
During his lifetime, Neruda occupied many diplomatic posts and served a stint as a senator for the Chilean Communist Party. When Conservative Chilean President González Videla outlawed communism in Chile, a warrant was issued for Neruda's arrest. Friends hid him for months in a house basement in the Chilean port of Valparaíso. Later, Neruda escaped into exile through a mountain pass near Maihue Lake into Argentina. Years later, Neruda was a close collaborator to socialist President Salvador Allende.
Neruda was hospitalized with cancer at the time of the Chilean coup d'état led by Augusto Pinochet. Three days after being hospitalized, Neruda died of heart failure. Already a legend in life, Neruda's death reverberated around the world. Pinochet had denied permission to transform Neruda's funeral into a public event. However, thousands of grieving Chileans disobeyed the curfew and crowded the streets. Neruda's funeral became the first public protest against the Chilean military dictatorship.
Hmm, I cannot be sure if this work is personal or if you are expressing despair at the current state of the world... provoking.
The first stanza is clutching. "Tenacious in collapse"- gives me chills. (Chills like "Mufassa!!" lol)
"Written in resistance"- also lovely.
"nation a yellow scar maps"- disorienting; I know this is a stylistic thing, but to an outsider it is confusing. If you are only expressing yourself it doesn't matter, but if you want to be understood, you must use a tiny bit of structure. I am forced to assume the yellow scar maps the nation, but the problem is I have to pause, reread, and puzzle over it. And yes, it might just be that I'm daft, but I might as well tell you what I think...
"Violet" followed by "violent"- boy, did that mess with my dyslexia! Ha, ha. Anyways, the two words compliment each other quite well. Those lines are especially vivid- a picture within a picture.
"rusted sacrifice lost"- ka-klunk. Thick words squished together beside beautiful alliteration and a tangled elaborate description... simply not complimentary.
Smashing conclusion! Leaves one hanging in the best way possible.
You are very fond of red, aren't you? (Not a critique, just an observation. lol)
Second half of the last stanza is especially strong, very nice.
This poem is quite different from most of your work that I've seen.
Heavy footed rather than touch-and-go. You do both very well.
I cannot imagine this as a personal piece, but rather the story of a country or people. I also like to think that red is for communism...
Well, I could ramble for ever................
PEACE
BAB