The Watcher

Aloha @ LuminescentAnt!

Beyond my usual haunts, I'm diving headfirst into some new reading material, ready for an adventure. I whip out my trusty binoculars, and what do I see? A super intriguing poem called "The Watcher" that definitely deserves a solid review. So, no more waiting around, let's jump right in!



Very first of all, can I just say what an amazing poem you've written. When I read the title, I knew at once that this poem would be a worth-it. The humour is really there, it started from the first sentence and lasted until the last. The reflection on the speaker's observations of mundane humans and their daily "ridiculous dramas" is perfectly written, I love the drama and most definitely the sarcasm.

We all love to read about other people's live, we enjoy watching everything that everyone does, we take it as some sort of entertainment, yes, we are like noisy neighbours. That is exactly what makes this poem even more fascinating, 'cause it's relatable. And the term "relatable" mean a lot when you take a look at your target audience.

But the end, yess the end, I did mean it when I said that the humour lasts until the last sentence. Most of us watch many movies and especially series on Netflix, I love Netflix. Little did I know, that it really means being an actual "Watcher", like a literal "watcher". The twist made it all seem even more relatable.

Everything in the all and all in the everything, I definitely enjoyed reading your poem. It's incredible how you wrote the poem, keeping the twist under covers for the big surprise. Even if you made a short story or long novel out of it, I would still read it.

That's it, that's all.
Long reviews dive in deep, but short reviews can still make a splash!

Me,
Rose

Nicely written here. I'm checking out your poems so I can do that poll for you.

I love your sort of condescending tone here. It really gives the first part a nice touch. The bold attitude of the main character to place herself above everyone else from the first line with her watching the other people's dramas and quietly commenting on how absurd it is.

At first I thought the main character was an observer who was spying on the people described. The last four lines convince me I was wrong...after I reread the poem to try to understand it a bit better. No, this observer is watching the lives of so many people through Netflix. Hah! But the main character still seems quite condescending and unsympathetic. Would make an interesting character to write about for sure!

My only critique is on the part about the food where they eat dinner. I felt like those lines were a bit unevenly long. But I know how hard it is to get things to rhyme, so take that as you will. I just found that line a little hard to read compared to the rest of it.

Well, that's it! Hope you have a great day!

Hello everyone and to our lovely writer, @LuminscentAnt! This is Ina also known as loveissourgrapes and I am here to review/comment about this poem of yours.

First impressions. I actually thought you were talking about stalker people around. The lines that say, "They don't see me, I'm hidden away, but I can see them". I actually thought you were stalking them. I see a point of view of a person looking out their window and looking what is happening inside other windows from another building apartment. Then when it went to the last line, "Stop watching Netflix." The point of view that I see is a person in PJs watching Netflix documentaries or TV shows while eating some chips or popcorn.

I like how your poem like, kind of twists into a different story. And it seems very imaginary. I imagine the point of view of the person talking and how the person looks like while doing these stuff. The stalker in the first part, or may I say a stalker in a TV show or documentary , is in a mask, holding a camera or a gun, watching everyone from a window or on top of a roof. Then the ending, the person watching these documentaries and Tv shows, are wearing Pjs, messy hair and looks wasted. Wasting their time on Netflix and procrastinating on the work or school they have to do.

Overall, it is really good. Wasn't excepting that. Keep on writing and have a good morning, afternoon, or evening!

Ha! It’s just about watching too much Netflix! There are so many good shows on Netflix that it can really take up so much time lol. I thought that the poem was about someone who oversaw people’s lives. But I liked the twist! I wish there were ways to fix Netflix problems, but there will never be. We will always be watchers of TV.

I hope that you will have a good day/night.

Hey LuminescentAnt! I hope you're having a good day! looseleaf here with a review.

This poem was great! I liked how simple it was; a lot of poems are all metaphorical and use complex imagery, which is fine, but it's nice to read one that I don't have while I'm reading it! I also enjoyed the twist at the end. It was pretty funny and put me at ease when I realized you weren't talking about an actual stalker. But, I think if you wanted to make this a more serious poem, you definitely could.

Now onto the main part of the review:

You capitalize the beginning of every line in this, even when the line isn't the start of a new sentence. It's not that big of a deal since this poem isn't that deep, and it may have been an intentional choice, but it threw me off. I would change it so that only lines that are at the start of sentences are capitalized--but that's just me!

The consequences it will bring.

But when my day is done,

The clock has sounded many ticks.

Wow, I was almost fooled. Initially, I was confused as to why this poem was listed under the humor genre, but the twist definitely made it fit. I'm sure this was intentional, but the excessive detail makes it seem like it belongs in a sort of horror genre at first. I've never seen a scary-to-humor transition before, but this is a really creative and well-written idea!

Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a review!

Wow, that was certainly a twist that I certainly didn’t expect! I went into this poem expecting a gritty story about a stalker or terrifying monster, but this is honestly much better. I think this poem flows very well and I like the use of rhyming.

However, I feel like this poem could benefit from some punctuation, like adding some periods after some lines to differentiate between sentences. Also, I feel as if these two lines flow weirdly:

From when in the morning

They change from their pajamas