I am the leaf at the bottom of the pile
Unseen, hidden
Damp from the long autumn showers
Warm sun rays drying the leaves above
Keeping them colorful and bright
No one sees me in their cheerful pictures
With smiling faces
I'm not included in the seasonal landscape
Not seen as a pretty background
Not picked up to be glued in a scrapbook
Not gazed at to realize how unique leaves can be
Just waiting at the bottom of a soft bed
Waiting to receive pressure from all those above me
Waiting for a firm boot to stick in its toe and find me
How I wish I was at the top of the pile
But at least at the bottom,
I can't be trampled by a muddy shoe
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,774 Reviews
Hi there! I'm Copper the Story Bunny, here as requested with a review. ^^
How does your poetry always succeed in making me feel sad? It's amazing how well you're able to portray the feelings in your poems! I simply adore the way you write poems, and I'm sad that I haven't read all of yours yet... which is now on my to-do list!
I never thought of a leaf being sad at the bottom of a pile! I just love that idea; it's so creative!
Let's start at the beginning, shall we?
Right away, we know what the poem is about. The narrator is an inanimate object; a leaf. Before reading the rest of the poem, the reader can already infer that it doesn't like being at the bottom of the pile where it is hidden from sight.
Now we see an example of why the leaf doesn't like it. It's trapped under all the other leaves, still wet while the others get dry and warm from the sun, and their beautiful colors are preserved. I love the way you portray this; the imagery is beautiful and is perfect for the situation. I also see it as a portrayal of real life: sometimes people get more than others, while it seems like you only get bad things and light will never come your way.
I love the way you portray the images of autumn, and how you connect art and photography to the leaf. People often take pictures of leaves, or just have them in the background while taking pictures of each other. It kind of reminds me of a friend group taking a group selfie, but there's one person in the background or covered by another person.
Aww! This is sad! Can I just get that leaf and put it in my scrapbook? I want it! But again, the imagery! (If you can't tell, I love imagery.) When I think of leaves and scrapbooks, I think of my sister. Just month ago she found a really pretty leaf and showed it to my family. I can just imagine how this leaf was not noticed among all the other leaves, and how it was never picked up by a fascinated child.
I love the repetition of "waiting" here. It adds a sense of time passing of the leaf just waiting and waiting for something good to happen. It's also kind of ironic; it has "a soft bed", which can't be too bad if it describes it as soft, right? And it's waiting to feel pressure from other leaves because of a kid playing on the leaves. That also kind of reminds me of a real life situation where a person is always ignored and they're just waiting and wishing for someone to depend on them based on the word "pressure," although that isn't the intended meaning.
I love this ending. The way it ends with "at least this doesn't happen because I don't have what I wish" is in it's own way kind of bittersweet, but mostly bitter. I'm not sure, but I think saying "at least blah blah blah" can be un unhealthy mindset in some situations. Saying "at least I'm better off than this other person" won't solve your problems and just makes you feel worse for having them. (And might I add, all problems are important. Big or small.) (In my opinion, what's better is being grateful for what you have, and not for what you have that others don't. Okay, tangent over.)
I love how this story is kind of up for interpretation. There isn't a set thing the leaf is getting you to think about; it's many. And it's different for each person. I just love that.
I find it interesting that the only punctuation you use is two commas. I didn't even notice at first; it ran so smoothly!
I've said this a lot, but I love this poem. It's just so inventive, and the more I read it, the more interesting and thought-provoking it became. (Which is my favorite kind of poem)
If you're looking for advise that doesn't come from a novice like me, I'd suggesting checking out Poetry Tutorials! These are super helpful, and come from a wide variety of users. For example, there is an article about Imagery. It doesn't pertain exactly to your poem, but I though it was a fun recourse.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I enjoyed reading this immensely, and it gave me inspiration for writing my own poetry. Thank you. ^^
Keep writing!
(And here's a cute picture of a bunny to keep you motivated)
Hi Orabella! Thank you so much for the review!
I am so glad you like my poems, it means a lot to me.
Hiya! Ley here to review.<3
First impressions... I don't think I've ever read a poem from the point of view of a leaf, but today was the day!
When I was reading this I felt... Sad and mad for the leaf. This poem made me really want to appreciate every little leaf I see--big or small---because they may have feelings too :'(. But if you think about it, leafs are pretty important-- because without them, all trees would be bare and all bushes would be naked!
My favorite line/quote is...I chose these two lines because they were the perfect ending to the poem! The theme throughout the poem, especially in the beginning and the middle, it was sad and I felt so bad for the leaf-- but the last line made me smile. It was the perfect mood-shifter! We all love a happy ending :3
Some things I would change would be... Nothing! I love this poem just as it is. You captured every aspect of a good poem: descriptive language, personification, and mood-shifters. Well done!
Overall... I really enjoyed this poem, and I can't wait to read more of your work :] Happy writing!
With Love,
Leya
Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you liked the poem.
hey there, i thought i'd leave a short review for this poem
. Like what Cozmo said, i also thought this was going to be a happier poem. i didn't expect it to have the sad tone that it did, but i quite enjoyed it. it was like you subverted the reader's expectations, whether that was intentional or not, just in the title.
when i read this poem, i interpret it as the narrator is feeling unnoticed; they feel overshadowed by those around them, and it doesn't necessarily seem to be anyone's fault. the narrator feels like they are the leaf at the bottom of a pile, but the leaf didn't choose to be there just as much as the person who made the pile didn't choose that leaf to be the one at the bottom; they just are.
one thing i found interesting about this poem was the lines, "warm rays drying the leaves above // keeping them colorful and bright." in my experience, i feel like leaves that are dried out by the sun during the autumn are usually the first to become paler and dull, whereas those that maintain their moisture for longer are generally deeper in color. because of this, this part of the poem makes me think that the narrator already is predisposed to thinking higher of others than they do of themselves.
another line that i enjoyed in this poem was, "just waiting at the bottom of a soft bed // waiting to receive pressure from all those above me." when the narrator refers to the bottom of a pile as a "soft bed", i'm almost tempted to think that despite the narrator feeling unnoticed, they are comfortable where they are at. though despite feeling comfortable in the place they are, they are still pressured by the people around them.
i'm not sure if this is exactly the translation you were going for, but it's what i pulled out and what spoke out to me through your words. i really enjoyed reading this poem and can relate to those couple lines. i look forward to reading more of your work on here soon
Hi! Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed reading the poem.
I think leaves that are moist are darker in color, so yes, over time, the leaves at the top eventually become paler, but the wet leaves at the bottom don't receive a lot of sunlight mainly, so they're darker I guess?? Anyway, let's not have a controversy about the color of leaves.
Also, about the bed thing - the leaves become a bed when lot of them are piled onto each other, but at the bottom, it's just soil.
Thanks again for reviewing!
Hello lovely human! I'm here to do a short and sweet review for ya!
To start off, this poem is actually sadder than I thought it was gonna be. I thought it was going to be about a happy leaf on a tree, but I wasn't expecting it to be so sad! I absolutely love it!
From how I see it, my interpretation of this poem can be a reflection of how we can feel like an odd one out sometimes. I, personally, feel this often. I like how I can see myself as the poor little leaf not being picked for the scrapbooks and sadly stuck at the bottom of the pile.
This is a fantastic poem! One of my new favorites!
Have a good day!
- Cozmo
Thank you so much for the review! I%u2019m glad you liked the poem.