Hi there! I'm Copper the Story Bunny, here as requested with a review. ^^
How does your poetry always succeed in making me feel sad? It's amazing how well you're able to portray the feelings in your poems! I simply adore the way you write poems, and I'm sad that I haven't read all of yours yet... which is now on my to-do list!
I never thought of a leaf being sad at the bottom of a pile! I just love that idea; it's so creative!
Let's start at the beginning, shall we?
I am the leaf at the bottom of the pile
Unseen, hidden
Right away, we know what the poem is about. The narrator is an inanimate object; a leaf. Before reading the rest of the poem, the reader can already infer that it doesn't like being at the bottom of the pile where it is hidden from sight.
Damp from the long autumn showers
Warm sun rays drying the leaves above
Keeping them colorful and bright
Now we see an example of why the leaf doesn't like it. It's trapped under all the other leaves, still wet while the others get dry and warm from the sun, and their beautiful colors are preserved. I love the way you portray this; the imagery is beautiful and is perfect for the situation. I also see it as a portrayal of real life: sometimes people get more than others, while it seems like you only get bad things and light will never come your way.
No one sees me in their cheerful pictures
With smiling faces
I'm not included in the seasonal landscape
Not seen as a pretty background
I love the way you portray the images of autumn, and how you connect art and photography to the leaf. People often take pictures of leaves, or just have them in the background while taking pictures of each other. It kind of reminds me of a friend group taking a group selfie, but there's one person in the background or covered by another person.
Not picked up to be glued in a scrapbook
Not gazed at to realize how unique leaves can be
Aww! This is sad! Can I just get that leaf and put it in my scrapbook? I want it! But again, the imagery! (If you can't tell, I love imagery.) When I think of leaves and scrapbooks, I think of my sister. Just month ago she found a really pretty leaf and showed it to my family. I can just imagine how this leaf was not noticed among all the other leaves, and how it was never picked up by a fascinated child.
Just waiting at the bottom of a soft bed
Waiting to receive pressure from all those above me
Waiting for a firm boot to stick in its toe and find me
I love the repetition of "waiting" here. It adds a sense of time passing of the leaf just waiting and waiting for something good to happen. It's also kind of ironic; it has "a soft bed", which can't be too bad if it describes it as soft, right? And it's waiting to feel pressure from other leaves because of a kid playing on the leaves. That also kind of reminds me of a real life situation where a person is always ignored and they're just waiting and wishing for someone to depend on them based on the word "pressure," although that isn't the intended meaning.
How I wish I was at the top of the pile
But at least at the bottom,
I can't be trampled by a muddy shoe
I love this ending. The way it ends with "at least this doesn't happen because I don't have what I wish" is in it's own way kind of bittersweet, but mostly bitter. I'm not sure, but I think saying "at least blah blah blah" can be un unhealthy mindset in some situations. Saying "at least I'm better off than this other person" won't solve your problems and just makes you feel worse for having them. (And might I add, all problems are important. Big or small.) (In my opinion, what's better is being grateful for what you have, and not for what you have that others don't. Okay, tangent over.)
I love how this story is kind of up for interpretation. There isn't a set thing the leaf is getting you to think about; it's many. And it's different for each person. I just love that.
I find it interesting that the only punctuation you use is two commas. I didn't even notice at first; it ran so smoothly!
I've said this a lot, but I love this poem. It's just so inventive, and the more I read it, the more interesting and thought-provoking it became. (Which is my favorite kind of poem)
If you're looking for advise that doesn't come from a novice like me, I'd suggesting checking out Poetry Tutorials! These are super helpful, and come from a wide variety of users. For example, there is an article about Imagery. It doesn't pertain exactly to your poem, but I though it was a fun recourse.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I enjoyed reading this immensely, and it gave me inspiration for writing my own poetry. Thank you. ^^
Keep writing!
(And here's a cute picture of a bunny to keep you motivated)
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