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E - Everyone


by LuminescentAnt

Note: This is not based on personal experience nor is it a true story. 


At the dark of night, so dark of a night

in my small, lonely room

I gaze at the screen of my phone.

So bright in such dark gloom

I wear a dress that is baby pink

With colorful zinnia flowers

It reminds me of when you and I

used to hang out in the garden for hours

I remember when I first saw it,

my face was filled with joy and laughter.

In your hands, on my birthday,

you knew it was my favorite color.

The dress was really expensive,

so why did you even buy it?

But only you remembered my birthday that day,

I instantly put it on and tried it. 

You were the only one who gave me a present,

it showed how much you cared.

And afterwards, I really much loved

the lingering kiss we shared. 

But now I've read the text from you

and I hate the dress so much.

As I read it, the world started spinning

I lost my sense of touch

"My dearest, sweetest Becca,

I really hope you don't mind,

I think it's time to drift apart,

our stars do not align. 

To say this as short as I can,

I have just met someone.

We have been hanging out for a while now, 

and my heart she has now won. 

I truly hope you believe me, 

but we were never meant to be. 

I think that our relationship

was not the right one for me. 

I hope that you'll understand,

I know that you are forgiving. 

So maybe we can remain friends!

Sincerely, Aaron Heaving."

As I read the words in my hand,

my heart fills with something strange. 

It's dark, dangerous, and chaotic,

and it's making me deranged. 

Anger, feel your anger,

The devil whispers in my ear. 

Let it fuel your heart and mind

only I can hear. 

No, don't let it take over!

A kind angel says to me

You'll lose control of your good self

And get rid of your sanity!

As angel and devil are fighting, 

a tear rolls down my cheek. 

Now I'm filled with great sadness,

and I now cannot speak

My heart aches so much, 

because of how much I loved you. 

How foolish was I to not speak up

because of her, I already knew. 

I had seen your texts to her

on your dreadful phone. 

When I read them with dismay,

sooner I wish I had known. 

"Be sure not to tell your girlfriend,

she won't be very happy."

"Don't worry my darling,

our secret is safe with me."

I wish that he could have heard

how much I cried that night. 

Because I really, truly believed

that our relationship was just right. 

I cry again now, 

as I read the horrible text.

But since I knew about the other girl, 

I wasn't completely perplexed.

But a teardrop falls from my face

and lands on a crack in my screen.

It flows down like a river, 

but not the nice kind that's sea green.

It's ice-cold, gray, and deep,

and it can swallow you whole. 

You'll become sadness, and not just be sad, 

and disappear into the black hole. 

But I will not succumb

to the darkness of the tears. 

I will not give it my energy

and I'll continue to turn my gears. 

If it means forgetting you, 

so be it, I'm done with this. 

Goodbye, I hope you have a good life, 

your face I will not miss. 

Is this a review?



User avatar
140 Reviews

Points: 13980
Reviews: 140

Sat Aug 05, 2023 6:30 pm
OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...

Hi! This is Orabella, here with a review.

I absolutely adore this poem! Although I've never had my heart broken (or even had a boyfriend or girlfriend of my own), this describes what it might feel like better than any other poem or short story I've ever read! And while I don't care about romance, I care about Becca and what she's feeling more than I ever have for someone in a poem.

Aaron is a jerk. The least he could've done was discussed it with her face to face instead of hiding the fact that he was seeing another girl. Texting is also not the way to go in matters like this. Maybe it's good, though, that he did that, because now Becca understands how horrible he is. Also, does that other girl even know what she's getting into? I mean, if he did this to one girl, why wouldn't he do it to another?

The rhymes in this are well-placed, and it did a great job of getting me immersed. I thought I'd only read this without reviewing, but the poem begged to be told how great it is! So here I am, telling you how great it is. :) I really can't find anything that I would suggest fixing or something that seems off. It really is amazing, so, thank you for writing and sharing. ^^

Keep writing!

LuminescentAnt says...

Hi Orabella, thank you for the review! Thank you so much for all the compliments, I%u2019m glad you like the poem! Thanks again!

LuminescentAnt says...

Hi Orabella, thank you for the review! Thank you so much for all the compliments, I%u2019m glad you like the poem! Thanks again!

User avatar
138 Reviews

Points: 8863
Reviews: 138

Sat Aug 05, 2023 3:40 pm
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KaiaJersaga wrote a review...

This was an amazing piece right here. Unlike some of the other poetry on here, you took a more traditional approach and we're very careful to gst the rhymes right. I wasn't watching much for a rhythm but I didn't really run into an area of the poem that didn't run smoothly. Obviously, you put time and effort into this. Well done!

I also really like how you started with a memory of how the girl came to be wearing this dress that she used to love so much. I can even imagine her changing her favorite color because it reminds her too much of this dress and her old relationship. Very sad.

The text itself was quite unexpected. This Aaron guy clearly has his way with poetic language. ;) I feel like he's kinda loser. He waited until practically the last minute to tell the main character about the other girl and then, worst yet, he wants to keep the main character on hand in case his new relationship doesn't go well, so he can go back to being with the main character again if things don't go well. What a jerk! That's no way to treat a girl! I absolutely agree with the main characters choice to say goodbye to him permanently.

Anyway, that was a long character dissection, XD. Loved your imagery and emotions you wrote about here. Keep up the great work!

LuminescentAnt says...

Hi Kaia, thanks for the review! Yeah, just realized how bad I made him. Oof. Thanks again!

KaiaJersaga says...


KaiaJersaga says...

You're very welcome! :D I thought it was about time to do something useful with my time.

There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.
— Bram Stoker