Asleep, or Dead?
I woke up, from my dream
To what I, thought i’d seen
From before
Who is that? In the herse
So frightening, i’m disturbed
I adore
Are you truly gone?
Has our time run out?
How could i have
Walked away
Away from this drought?
When I could have given it the water it needed
Are you truly gone?
Had I lost my chance?
Did I even know
What I had
Before our last dance?
At your get-togethers I always just stay seated
What if that dance had lasted forever?
I wish I knew how
I am now, all alone
To this seat, I condone
I am safe
If only I, could take dares
Could rise up, from this chair
Never late
again
Are you truly gone?
Has our time run out?
How could i have
Walked away
Away from this drought?
When I could have given it the water it needed
Are you truly gone?
Had I lost my chance?
Did I even know
What I had
Before our last dance?
At your get-togethers I always just stay seated
But in the end, I should have taken my chance
In the end, I should have asked you to dance
Now your gone, What can I,
Do without
You?
I make up a soulmate in my head
When I hardly knew her name
After all the trouble i’ve caused,
Maybe i’m better off dead.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,735 Literary Works • 673,684 Reviews
Hi!
This poem is so wondrous and also very sad...
It's kind of worrying but very amusing.
I feel like this quite often, i feel, that nobody actually likes me and it would be better if i would be dead. And some people make me think of horrible thoughts...But then i think what would others think, if i did something to myself... And it slowly gets better.
I wonder if the ones that do suicides think about others.
This poem is so thoughtful and i think i read it for like 5 times!
It's beautiful!
Thanks, i'm so glad you like it. It really means a lot to me. I'll be sure to write some more, real soon!
Hi there!
This poem is so beautiful and so sad! I love the way you wrote this, I truly do. I understand what you are going through, and what you are saying. I am here to help if I can. Just let me know. My favorite part is this:
"I make up a soulmate in my head
When I hardly knew her name
After all the trouble i’ve caused,
Maybe i’m better off dead."
I have felt this a lot, and it is possible to get over it, but it always comes back at some point or other. I have no tips to make for this poem, because it is perfect. You definitely have talent.
Thank you!! And I think it would be goo to talk about this poem's inspiration, just message me if you'd like to hear it.