Life is like a garden.
You pick what you choose
and you can't replant it once it's gone.
Friends are like the flowers,
they bloom and they wilt.
Some will go dormant for the winter
while some will stay with you all year long.
You have favorite colors and aromas
you can't help which ones you like best.
You tend to care for the familiar ones
and leave the unwanted ones to die.
Years later you come back to your childhood garden.
Realizing you loved each and every flower,
wishing you never let them disappear.
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,329 Reviews
Good job Lucky.
Okay, one thing I don't like is that you say:
Life is like a garden,
Then you say two lines down:
Friends are like a garden,
That's about it. I think though, maybe making it longer, maybe describing
some of the flowers would have been nice.
Good Luck!
-- M.B.Author
This reminded me of a poem by Bryant... The Yellow Violet, I think it was? You might want to look for it. ^_^
I like that you have a large metaphor in it, but I think it was too straight forward. Rather than using the metaphor as a way to show your theme, or your idea, you just used it to enhance the poem. It's mostly telling and... I guess I just think it's too straight forward, too telling. If you find Bryant's poem (if that is the right title) you will see that he talks about the flower, and his theme, his idea, is inside the poem, literally. You have to pick it apart to see what he is trying to say.
I'm not sure any of that made sense... and I'm not sure what else I want out of your poem? Well, I can't feel anything... yes, I think the biggest issue is that all you are doing is telling. Why not show us? Consider using more imagery, scents, sights, colors, touches... you know?