Exodus
I step in ravishing snow,
hugging myself to sleep
under a withered tree's glow.
Children chatter and play,
They dream of imaginary places
And forget about the coming end
of to-day.
Come a little closer,
don't stay in the shadow of the sun.
Auguries of beauty will be free
to leave their droplets on our skin.
And we'll watch the world rotate,
bent under the weight of expanding minds.
Suns rise and clouds drift,
a seemingly everlasting merry go-round.
But even if the earth goes to slumber,
it'll fall on deaf ears.
Because I'll be living away my fears
in the pools of redemption.
And you will be near me -
Waiting for me -
As I wander among
the exodus of the world.
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140,230 Literary Works • 673,048 Reviews
Wow, I just had a reall long coment but it got deleted because my computer logged me off.
Sorry Ill reread later when im not p***ed at my computer.
No swearing outside of lit works, please - Mod
I step in ravishing snow, (odd word choice with ravishing)
hugging myself to sleep
under a withered tree's glow.
Children chatter and play,
They dream of imaginary places
And forget about the coming end
of to-day. (today.)
Come a little closer,
don't stay in the shadow of the sun. (awkward with sun)
Auguries of beauty will be free (Auguries is awkward word choice)
to leave their droplets on our skin. (skin is awkward)
And we'll watch the world rotate,
bent under the weight of expanding minds.
Suns rise and clouds drift,
a seemingly everlasting merry go-round.
But even if the earth goes to slumber,
it'll fall on deaf ears.
Because I'll be living away my fears (awkward when used with following line)
in the pools of redemption.
And you will be near me -
Waiting for me -
As I wander among
the exodus of the world.
This was interesting and a bit mysterious, some of it didn't make perfect sense, but that is okay. I liked the poem, even though it took forever for it to reach its point, but it was done in a unique and original way.