After reading @alliyah 's review I got a better idea of what kind of tone you were going for here, and it helped me understand the narration a little bit more. I do think that this piece would have benefited from maybe a prologue or just a few more details regarding what led the speaker to start bleeding from their knee; the imagery itself is interesting and shocking enough to get me to keep reading, but I'll admit that I was struggling a bit to figure out what it was symbolizing (if anything at all).
I like how concise each line is, which helped me keep a flowing rhythm going while I read through the poem. I feel like this structural decision does a lot to emphasize the jarring effect that pain can have on a person -- in many ways, the choppy nature of the lines can be interpreted as the stabbing sensations associated with shooting pain. Not sure if that makes sense but I figured I'd mention it in case anyone else got the same interpretation from it!
Focusing on the idea of smiling through pain is very interesting to me in terms of the poem's subject, though I will say that there were a few points in which I had a bit of a hard time tying everything back to the main idea (specifically, the anecdotal sections about eating ice cream and having mom's reassurance).
Last note: I believe you left out a word in one of the earlier lines; as of right now, the line says "it's big deal" which I assume you meant to change to "it's no big deal". Just wanted to point this out in case someone else didn't get to it before me
All in all, though, I liked the poem and would love to see more of your poetry as you continue to grow as a writer <3
Points: 9075
Reviews: 111
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