A really good piece! I am enjoying this a lot. I didn't have time to read the whole publishing but I have read the first bit. I am really impressed and this is improved already from some of your other works.

One of my suggestions would be to develop your language features a bit more! For example, "the questions spilled out of me, like puke". This is a great use of a simile but you could make it even better by using the same idea and editing it slightly. Instead you could have a metaphor such as, "The vomit left my mouth, spilling the questions out of my mind". Or you could change the simile a bit to make it a bit more interesting for the reader. "the questions spilled out of me like an uncontrollable sickness".

Overall, another great piece. I don't have many improvements for this one, great job! Hope this helps!

Hello!
This is a really neat story! I am going to have to go back and read the first chapters. It is also really cute, in a way. . You are writing this out really, really well. It has a good plot, good detail, and you balance wonderfully between enough information to keep the readers engaged and eager for more, but not so much that they get bored and leave. Looking forward to more, keep up the great work!