Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,521 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
You wrote this when you were in fourth grade? That's amazing. Then again, I think the writing power of children is underestimated.
Very true. Thanks. <3
Wow, you wrote this when you were in Grade 4? Incredible! It is so great and I really enjoy how the dialogue goes inside her head. I relate a lot to her. I also like how she calls that mysterious person "The Creep". And I'm curious who that 'creep' is and if he/she really did leave that note.
Keep writing.
-Shieldmaiden
Thanks!
hi, would you mind breaking this up or asking me to review a certain section of chapters? thanks.
Uh, nevermind then, can you review: Fairy Diary | Day 8
Thanks.
Sure!
Thanks!
Hello! Interesting story you've got there. While writing, I highly suggest you stay away from text faces, such as ":)" or ":/". Also, Rachel's father's name would be Frank Frank, and if not for comedic purposes, should not be used. This story does not seem to be a comedy, so I would advise against using that name. Aside from the introduction, magic is not mentioned in the story, and there is no use for it. I understand that they're trying to hide it, but it's never used and has no value in the story. I'm also aware that you wrote this in fourth grade, and this could possibly be the reason for the errors. Anyway, good story!
Thanks! The magic will be used in the next chapters.
And yes, @EagleFly said the same thing about Rachel's father. I should change that. I did not pay attention to that.
Hi there @Liberty500 I am hearing that you need name I dears well I think I maybe have some suggestions on that, and also seeming that this is not really a story yet this is just the planing I am not going to intervene with that.
another thing here, you I there yous a ? or ! for I have learned that you cannot have both and also the question mark over roils the ! so it is a question here. So it would look like this, “Is Pumpkin okay?” okay I hop that you see what I am saying here.but I must say that there is a little thing that I piked up, so the mane persons name is Rachel, Rachel Frank, I also found you said that her dads name is frank so that would mean for there sear name, that his full name is Frank Frank, so not really shore about that name and the sear name to gather, now that is just a little thing that I picked up, but you can ignore it anyways.
Suggestions for title
1: Saving the lost
2: save I vile
3: Hearts to be moved
4: the foils nest
okay so that is all that I can say, I hope that this gave you some good I dears for Titles, I will love to read this story, So keep up the good work.
@EagleFly out to seek and kill
I really enjoyed reading this!
Thank you! But do you have any ideas for my title?
Any suggestion will be much appreciated.