Ok, wow, starting off with something pretty short for number one of my 13 reviews for you. I could be helping keep the GR at bay, but no, I'm analysing a haiku about a spider web. Just kidding, though, I love your work and I'm really excited to read and review this! Now, since the intro is longer than the poem, I should start.
Life is too unfair
I'm guessing life is the web, which is pretty deep, Maybe it means just society, which is a pretty sticky subject yes, puns. I mean, obviously it means life, thanks to the giant block letters. But maybe change that so people will dwell more on it, other than being fed the overtones. Overall, I think it's an intriguing start!
But you have to fly through it.
NO real critiques here, it is a haiku, after all. Maybe I'm spending too much time on the web I won't stop but have seems a bit weak compared to other works I've seen. Maybe replace it with "You've got to" or "Need to." But that's just my personal preference.
Or else you'll get stuck.
I don't know, but the last line seems a little off, I'll have to search the web to see if I can help. I'm cringing now, too. Just gimme a widow while. I mean, it just seems less hitting than the others, too soft. I don't know how to explain it, but maybe read it aloud to see what I mean?
OVERALL:
I liked it! It was well written and I enjoyed it. It was something that stuck I have so many more better ones I can't fit in with me and the title caught my attention. Can't wait to see the rest of your works!
Jade
P.S. Now excuse me, I'm off to go be a recluse hehe.
Points: 143
Reviews: 232
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