Young Writers Society

Hi Liberty! Jade here to leave you a short review on your poem. Your title was strange but it caught my attention! I love the flow of the stanzas, and how each line pieces a story together in a super relatable way. I also enjoy how each stanza gets smaller and smaller. However, my one concern is that a lack of a rhyme scheme does really make this story harder to read. Changing it up could help keep everything light and flowy!

Hey there Liberty, here to review your poem as requested!

I interpret is poem to be about a speaker who is having trouble writing, so much that they write nothing and then in an ironic twist say that writing nothing is going to win them the contest, but at the last line they say, "just kidding" and reveal they don't have much confidence in their piece afterall.

So the theme of writer's block is certainly a popular theme for poetry, and I have to say I think it's a really hard theme to do well, because it's hard to make the poem seem significant and difficult to say something original with a theme that's been done so many times.

I think you're back and forth humor at the end, and the hint of a challenge/contest make the theme a bit more original, but you haven't quite made the poem seem significant yet. -- If you were able to make the writing process, the contest, or poetry seem more important in the actual poem it would make the poem itself seem more important as well. Sometimes I have written these sorts of pieces and linked the writing process with knowing ones' self, or knowing truth, and that seems to make the poem seem a bit more substantial.

On the humor aspect, I'm not sure the little turn at the end worked from the immediate "here's the best poem ever" to "just kidding" -> you need to extend the "it's the best ever" part a bit longer so that the reader's expectations are aligned to thinking one thing, and then their expectations are totally challenged.

My personal preference is also that the ellipses didn't add too much, because they didn't add drama or meaning, but were more of a distraction.

I think the casual, simple language was fine for communicating a rather straight forward theme, but you could make the poem pop a little more by adding some imagery or figurative language. - this would also make the poem sound more original.

That's about all I had!

Good luck in editing, and please ask questions about my review if something wasn't clear, or you wanted more feedback on a particular area.


alliyah

Happy Review Month!

Hey there Liberty! Tuck swinging by for a quick review. Let's get into it!

One thing I really liked about this poem is the formatting. The centering really draws attention to the short lines, which worked really well with your subject matter. I also liked the way you separated your stanzas; each stanza had a very separate and distinct feeling, and the way you used asterisks and spacing to separate it fit the poem very well.

I noticed that you used some more casual vocabulary (namely, "whatta" and "hafta") in this poem, and it didn't seem to quite fit what you were going for. It felt almost forced, as if you were trying to make something that was written to be serious into something light-hearted by changing your vocabulary.

I also noticed that your stanzas didn't have a consistent pattern to them. There's no rule against that (although in fairness there are almost no rules in poetry ), but I didn't think it worked with your poem. The short, punchy lines did—those were really well done—but you had 5 lines, then 4 lines, then 3 lines, then 1 line. It didn't seem as if there was intentionality there, but rather just divided up almost at random, and I think it would strengthen the structure if you were a little more deliberate about where you broke up stanzas.

I hope this review was helpful to you, and if you have any more questions, just let me know and I'd be happy to answer them! I look forward to reading more from you

Happy RevMo!

Heya, Liberty. Casanova here to do another review for you!

This reminds me of something I wrote awhile back where I incorporated everything into poetry, but then it's the entirely opposite thing at the same time. I like that, honestly, but let's get to the review.

I love the personification in the first stanza. The only question I have- if the paper and the poetry is blank, then how is it screaming? To me it would be more like a look of horror or maybe just a blank stare for not writing it, but if you could explain that to me I think that could clear it up.

The second stanza is decent enough, I dislike the rhyming at the end there, though. I understand you write a lot of humorous poems and stuff, but to me it doesn't seem to bode well with the stanza, but that, again, could just be me and everything. Anyway, onward.

The last stanza, to me, is the best honestly. Although, I wouldn't have ended it with,"Just kidding" But I like pretending to be cocky.

All in all, although I don't know what this was for (or even if it was for something) but it's a really funny poem and I am glad that I read it, so thank you for sharing.

Sincerely, Casanova

Heya Liberty!!

Eros here with a review for you!!!

I really really really lovvveeeddd the poem... It is Soo relatable. I really enjoyed reading it. It does happen:


I have a poem to do.
I've no idea whatta do!
My mind is blank,
and so's my paper.
It's screaming,
and so am I!

This stanza is exactly mee. Lool it was really a beautiful sweet little poem, with all the exact feelings expressed in the best possible wordings.
The poem flows really smooth and everything is weaved together into a wonderful poem.

Great work!

Keep writing such amazing works and we will love to keep reading them and keep reviewing them!

Have a great day/ night!

With love,
From Eros

Greetings!

I like this poem a lot. The ending was pretty funny. The part where you say "Just kidding". I also really like how it's so relatable. I have had times when I am trying to think of something, but nothing comes in my mind. It turns gray too, haha.

Mistakes... I don't think you have any mistakes. All of it was perfectly fine! So, good job with that poem you've made.

Happy Review Day!

What's that, in the distance? It's a review on the Horisun!

Sorry 'bout that, people always have those kinds of intros. Anyways, I really like this poem! It's really relatable, even though I've never entered any poetry contests, I hate it when I can't think of anything to write.
There is one thing I'd like to point out, and that's that you said "My paper" twice, back to back. That was a little awkward for me to read, and messed with the flow of your poem.

Other than that, this poems great! I love how at the end, you were like, 'just kidding' I like to say something sarcastic, like, "I'm the best writer ever" and then say, "Not" And that's what I love about this poem, it's so darn relatable! Great job writing this!

As always, keep writing! And Happy Review Day!

Hi, this is Nive here with a review.
First off, I find this poem very cute and hilarious and I think this surely can be one of your best. I think the main reason for people finding this poem nice would be because it is relatable. When I write poems, they just come to me and there is no particular timing for it. But sometimes when I'm asked to write one, it takes me really long and I usually cannot find the words.

The one small thing that kinda distracted me was the appearance of rhyming words at two places then the sudden change in the writing style. It really is a small negative and can really be overlooked.

Overall, I really liked your poem because as a writer I know that it is difficult to write humour as a genre, especially in a poem. Keep up the amazing work, and I hope to see more poems from you.

XOXO

Hi. I can relate. I have to write a poem for school and have this terrible writers block (which apparently isn't a good excuse to give a teacher if why you simply cannot turn in your assignment on time). My favorite line has to be
"I hafta enter a poem,
but I haven't.
Why, you say?
Because my mind is gray..."

I love the imagery behind it, of when you can't think your mind turns to like a gray color. (At least that was my interpretation of it)
Good job!

Hello Liberty! Your friend FlamingPhoenix here to leave a few words on your really cool poem. And it lovely day.

So The only thing I would have to say I did see is that you said do twice in the two first lines, now it's not a big thing to worry about, but if you can think of changing one of to do's then it would be nice. But again don't worry about it.

Now what I really want to talk about is how cute and funny your poem was, I think it was a really good idea, and I have know idea why I haven't thought of it before. I think it was really well thought out and it was a joy to read, it gave me a good laugh and I'm glad I came to read it.
I think the flow of the poem was really good, even if some of the words didn't rhyme. But I think if they did, it wouldn't have worked as well as it did.

Over all I think it as a great idea written out in a really great way, and I'm glad I had the time to read and review this. Never stop writing because your stuff is just amazing and a joy to read, I hope you have an amazing day/night.

Your friend and faithful reader
FlamingPhoenix
Reviewing this a fiery passion.

Hello,

I love this, so relatable!! Of course, it's national poetry month... a little stressful! Honestly, I could probably vote for this poem lol

I mean, it doesn't hurt to have such a relatable poem, right?

This is so damn cute!