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139,346 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
Wow, I really liked this piece. I’ve seen other works from and since they all seem to be reviewed by several people I just picked my favorite one and decided to comment. This is really interesting. I’m not sure I get it. I think of Faeries who are dark and seen by children, since your narrator is so childlike by calling this thing ‘ghosty’, which makes it all the more creepy. I don’t get the ‘grant’ thing and I keep thinking about my friend who is named Grant and it just keeps getting in my mind. I assume it is about some horror show or book? I’m not really sure but, boy, do I like this poem. I hope you explain what it was because I really did enjoy it!
Somewhat... confusing. But I really liked it. I'm wondering what the end means? That's mainly what confuses me. I know the ghosts name is Grant, but I'm still lost. Maybe I'm just stupid and unobservant, but help me out here?
Amusing, very amusing. I liked the story progression and the revelation at the end. Hadn't expected that. And yes, I do get it.
Although, like the previous reviewers I have to question your narrator's character. He seems... a bit strange. The language he used when narrating seems to bright for someone who has murdered someone, almost child-like really. It seems to me that someone capable of such dark thing should have a much darker tone and language.
The narrator's action is also puzzling. A normal person upon seeing a ghost would freak out or something and starts running away when the ghost have got a knife with them. But your narrator just stayed there telling the ghost to go away.
So, upon mentioning those points, I have to ask, is the narrator a lunatic of some sorts? It seemed like he is to me.
Moving on from the narrator, I quite like this, it's light-hearted, easy to read and very pleasant. So, the puzzling character aside, this is a poem well written, I'd say. Keep it up!
Don't really get it. . . Well, i get it, but not the end.
Who's mister grant, and before you said the ghost was little but Mr. Grant doesn't sound little, it sounds like an old guy.It sounds like your MC is in denial about Killing Mr. Grant because he says he doesn't remember then he says he doesn't remember and says sorry. Anyways, it's a little weird for me!!
Hey!
I know you haven't gotten a lot of reviews, but I thought this was fantastic. It's just so... bizarre, I guess is the nearest word. It's strangely comical, for what could have been a serious topic, but you worked it really well this way. I can find very little to complain about, but I'll give it a shot.
I guess I really am nitpicking in the extreme, but this comma kind of ruins the effect. Only a couple of the other instances of this line have it, and it takes away from the sort of unity of the poem, if that makes sense. I'd suggest having the comma in every instance of the line, or none of them, just to make it a little more consistent.
There's something about the character of the narrator that doesn't quite sit right, either. This is someone capable of murder, but seems completely innocent in his (?) language. He seems to forget that he has killed Grant, too, which seems very odd to me.
Other than that, I can find very little to complain about. It doesn't feel like it's meant to be taken totally seriously, until the very end, so I won't criticise the almost childish pattern of the verses. If there's anything I've said that doesn't make sense, or anything more I can do to help, though, please let me know. I'd be glad to do whatever I can.
~ Ruth
O.o
Your poems don't seem to get reviewed very quickly.....
Anyway, you don't need to have the title in this piece, since you already have a title when you submit it.
Plus, it looks like a line of your poem, and that much repetition isn't needed. :p
But..... how can a ghost hold a knife? O.o They have no material body!
*remembers things about haunted houses and scary movies (which I never actually watch)*
...I guess so......
Why didn't the person run away? It seems odd that he just stays and scolds the ghost. Or maybe he is running. I can't tell from the poem, but I assumed he was in a study or something, and it was dark, and there was a large window on the side..... there were long, dark curtains, and it was lavishly yet sparsely (O.O?) furnished.....
...I have no idea how I got that from this. :p
Anyway, overall, this was humorous, yet dark and sad at the same time. Good job.
....I need thirty more characters. Go Bamboozlers!! Yaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyy