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Hi there!

So I just wrote this review for your poems here and boom, my wifi cuts out. I refreshed the page when it came back and everything was gone. -_- But it's still fresh in my mind so I'm going to redo it. Here we go:

Looking over this, it looks like four different poems. I am going to treat them as such and I'm sorry if they're all connected. My comments and such are going to be inside *astriks* <-- like that. Hopefully you'll be able to tell the difference between my stuff and yours.

1.
I grew up in a lonely world,
Crowded by the press of darkness. *You can't really be crowded by something when you're being pressed by it. That's two different ideas you mixed together. I suggest saying something like 'Crowded by the wings of darkness' or 'Crowded by the agents of darkness'. Something along those lines.*
No one ever came for me,
I never held my mother’s hand.
Sometimes when I lie in bed,
I wish that someone wanted me. *you changed from present to past tense here. I'm not sure if it's a big deal in poetry, but I figure I'd point it out.*
Never have the words be said,
“Honey, you are beautiful”.
I’m living in this lonely world,
Where only silence meets my screams.
*I liked this poem. I do have one critique however. I want you to vary your punctuation. It's the same every time; comma, period, comma, period, etc. Mix it up, play with dashes and semicolons. Work the flow.

2.
Sails
No-
Blades.
They cut the wind
These weapons of
Mass destruction.
Sails
No, blades
That why the wind
Howls.
*I like the description in this poem. The way you described sails here is very original. I haven't heard them described as weapons cutting the wind before. Love it! Oh yeah, and great job with the punctuation here. I like the variety.*

3.
So attached are they
That they hug you all around,
Bat the dust from your eyes.
Sometimes, though *I think you should take 'though' out of this line. It seems to mess with the flow.*
We just need space
And we cut them away.
But the pesky stalkers come back;
You can’t get rid of hair.
*I absolutely love the last two lines here. It's pretty cool how you compared stalkers and hair without telling us specifically that that's what you were doing.*

4.
They don’t grow taller, ever
-it’s a terrible life- *I think you should put this line in parenthesis*
To be used and then thrown away
-but that’s how it is- *I think you should put this line in parenthesis*
People break them.
Oh how sad I would be
If I were a pencil
*I had to go back and reread this poem after figuring out you were talking about a pencil. I'm going to harp on your capitalization now. Sorry. Most of these lines are continued thoughts from the previous line. You shouldn't be capitalizing in the middle of a thought. Switch it up, use some capital some lower case.*

Overall I'll give this a 5/6. Only because you need to work on your punctuation and capitalization. I hope you're able to figure out which are my comments!

Keep writing!
**Noelle**