Romancing The Devil: Chapter Seven

by KatyyMayy

Published July 31, 2013

18+ Language Violence Mature Content

In Romancing The Devil.

Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Camron slid one hand down my back, the other tangled in my hair above the base of my neck. Embracing me. My hands were wrapped around his neck, clinging too him to me, like he was my oxygen and I needed him to breath.

We were in the middle of a city, on a side walk kissing like it didn't matter who was watching. It was perfect. It was way too good to be true. My heart was beating faster and faster.

Boe, stop it. Now. Hello? You're mad at him. Remember? But I just couldn't break out of our lip lock. I didn't want to.

I slid my hand down to his chest, pushing him away. Knowing if I didn't stop now, there would be hell to pay tomorrow. He didn't stop, I wasn't sure if I wanted him too. I pushed my hand harder, he still didn't budge. He was like a rock that I couldn't move.

I tried a different technique, I pulled my lips away. I regretted the decision right after. His eyes looked at me with such sadness when he realized I wanted to stop. I could tell by his actions that, he wasn't sure why I stopped. I couldn't help but go easy on him. His eyes were already pleading for me to forgive him. I took his hand in mine, and looked into his eyes.

"Why me?" I looked away into the night sky. It was dark, but the city lights turned into a sun at night.

"Because, there's something about you that draws me in. Something I try to ignore but leaves me wanting more. I like what I know about you so far. I can't explain it very well in words. Boe you drove me completely crazy since I first met you. All I thought about was you. I can't resist you anymore."

"Okay, Camron. I forgive you but I want the truth about you and Ethan." I demanded. Not taking no for an answer.

"Alright Boe. But you have to swear to me, you'll never tell anyone what I'm about to tell you. This could get your whole family killed." He said with such seriousness in his eyes and tone of voice, I wouldn't dare question him.

"I swear, I will never tell another soul."

"It isn't safe here to talk, I'll go get some food and meet you in my truck in ten." He said, then kissed me on my lips once again before handing me his keys.

As I walked to his car I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching me. I didn't feel safe, I started to walk faster and faster until I heard footsteps behind me. I quickly turned around ready to fight and there was Ethan looking tired as hell.

"Boe please talk to me, I'm sorry for the way I acted. I was just upset. But I'm here, I have to protect you, or at least attempt too." Ethan said with sweat dripping down his forehead.

"Ethan, how did you know where I was? Why are you dripping sweat?"

Before Ethan could answer Camron's voice cut in.

"Get away from her." He growled while never taking his eyes off Ethan, and the Burger King bag in his left hand.

"Stop it now!" I screamed at both of them. "I want answers and I'm going to fucking get them. Camron, Ethan, get in the truck. I'm sick of this. I deserve the truth, right now." My best friend, and possible boyfriend are out to kill each other or something I didn't even know about. I was time to let whatever Ethan was hiding from me come out.

They both knew better than to argue with me when I was this serious. As we walked to the truck in silence I wondered how horrible the truth was going to be.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Guys, I'm back in the writing grove. (: I actually have ideas for the rest of this story, and another novel. Hopefully this is long enough. And a special thanks to Paige, who always encourages me to write more. Thanks to everyone for all the reviews and comments, it's very much appreciated.

Anyways, If anyone would be interested in the next book I'm going to write, please message me or perhaps leave a comment.

As always, Enjoy!

Xoxoxoxs,

Katy.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Rurouni
Review
Rurouni wrote a review Review · Aug 5, 2013

This was interesting.

Make sure you use your commas and 'and' right.

Such as this sentence,

"Get away from her." He growled while never taking his eyes off Ethan, and the Burger King bag in his left hand.

Mmkay..

The comma serves as the and. Read it without the and out loud.

Sounds better.. Right?
Good.

This could've been slowed down more. Descirbe what she feels, is she getting a hollow feeling? Is her body warming up with every kiss? Ignore her thoughts, but still have them. What is she feeling? What are her emotions? This is good information we could use.

I hope to read more!

Thanks,

ShadowWings, aka pegasusgirl2

User avatar
StoneHeart
Review
StoneHeart wrote a review Review · Aug 3, 2013

Hey Katy, Black here for a quick comment (which turned out to be a review).


I really enjoy your writing and style, as I've told you before. I love your pacing. I love your descriptions. I love your imagery. And I think this was a really great piece. But you really need to make your chapters a bit bigger. The average novel chapter is about 2 to 3 thousand words long . . . whereas this one is about 1000.

It needs to be longer. Not just because right now it's a REALLY REALLY small chapter, but there's more you can put in here. You're cutting the chapter off as an 'end' way too early . . . far earlier than you need to. Look at the comments on this! Your reader's aren't satisfied . . . and I'm no exception! You NEED TO MAKE THIS CHAPTER LONGER! No excuses!

Okay, you could also use to do some grammar checking as well. You have a number of minor grammar mistakes that are just plain all-out annoying when you're reading. I'd advise you to get a grammar checker. It'll help. Do some reading it outloud as well! . . . Plus reviewer feedback.

Okay, overall: Nice piece. Make it bigger and watch the grammar. Oh, and KEEP WRITING! You're doing great and I'd hate to see you stop!


~Black~

User avatar
Paige
Comment
Paige commented Comment · Aug 1, 2013

Awww the shoutout was so heartwarming! Thanks!

And, of course, we're all interested in another story. :D


With Love,
Paige

User avatar
lauramydear
Review
lauramydear wrote a review Review · Jul 31, 2013

Hey there!

I'm here to review yet another chapter of your novel!

I feel like I'm starting to repeat myself, MAKE THE CHAPTERS LONGER!!! You are killing me with these short chapters! I start to read and I get really excited like "Oh! Another chapter! I can't wait to see what happens!" And then my hope and dreams are killed by the shortness. I want to know more about these people and I hate having to wait for another chapter to come out! Which, this is not a bad thing. Suspense is always a good thing!

I must say that this chapter seemed a little rushed because everything was jumbled together, and was presented so quickly it really only took me about 3 to 5 minutes to read it. I wouldn't have minded to sitting and reading for longer. Novels aren't supposed to only take you a few hours to read, and so far this one would only take about 1 and a half if you read at the average persons reading rate. There's no need to rush out your ideas. Type the ideas so you don't forget them, and then elaborate on them. Time and quality can go hand in hand. This is good, but with more information it could be made a hole ton better!! (I hope that makes sense).

Longer for novels isn't a bad thing. It doesn't have to be like a billion pages but closer to 100 would be nice and I feel this would sum up to like 20 or 30.

Your spelling has gotten better, you have a few mistakes but thats normal. So good job in approving that!

I can't to see how this progresses. You left an amazing cliffhanger, and it left me wanting more! If only it was printed on paper and already finished would I be able to just turn the page and continue like I wish I could

Thank you!
Keep writing!
-Laura(:



Adventure is worthwhile.
— Aesop