Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
Chapter Five
After I walked out of the dinner I was in very bad mood. I had $100.00 dollars in my pocket. I made a quick impulsive decision to buy an outfit tonight for my date with Camron.
I've never been on an actual date. I have never really given any guy who was interested a chance.
Camron though, was very different. I've had a thing for him since the very first time I saw him. It wasn't just looks that drove me completely crazy about him. It was the way he carried himself and he was above all the normal high school drama.
It was a ordinarily day, just like every other. When Camron DeBrisky enrolled. Every girl, including me wanted the meet the new guy. I was alone sitting at my lunch table when Camron sat across from me.
"I'm Camron, Not 'Cameron' my parents wanted an unique name.' He smiled trying to make me laugh.
"Well, I'm Boe." I said. Not wanting to get to know this person. Sure, he was really cute but I didn't have the time.
"Well Boe. You wouldn't happen to be that fighter that everyone is talking about, would you? Before I could answer Ethan sat down right beside of me.
"Get lost." He said rudely.
"Ethan!" I exclaimed.
"Boe! There are somethings I can't exactly tell you, but trust me this guy is bad news and I don't want him any where near you." Ethan said directed at Camron even though he was talking to me.
"Bye Camron, maybe I'll see you around." I said while grabbing Ethan and dragging him to class.
"You will see me around Boe." Camron winked.
When we were out of sight, I asked Ethan what the hell was the about.
"Boe, I can't tell you." He said while looking at the ground.
Camron wasn't like the other boys around here. He was wiser, different. It was impossible not to be curious about him. As I went to home room, Camron was sitting in the seat right beside of mine. Here's my chance. The only reason I'm curious is because of what Ethan said.
As I walked though the down town side of the city, I came across a store I always wanted to go to. It was expensive, but I thought I deserved it. All the bills were already paid for this month. Thanks to my win last night.
I walked in the store, nervous that I didn't belong where the popular girls shopped. I never fit in with anyone my age.
I walked in Cato's with my head down hoping no one would notice me. I went to the juniors section and picked out a pink tank top, with white flowers, and blue jean skirt.
I went to the check out line and waited for at least ten minutes. The cashier rung my stuff up, the total was $76.00. After that it was noon. I walked back to my house. And opened the front door.
"Booooeee." My drunk father slurred. The house was a wreck. Mainly my things thrown all over the place. Anger rushed though my veins. Who pays the bills? Me. He has no right going though my stuff.
"What do you want." I said though my clenched teeth.
"Money Boe. I'm out of drinks." He begged. I wasn't mad anymote. I did forget to give him some money. Usually I'll give them each fourty a week.
"How much?" I asked. Knowing I'm only giving him a twenty. I pulled out my wallet. I'm used to giving my parents money.
"50.00." He said.
"I only have a twenty." I handed him the bill.
"Thanks." He said as he got up to go to the liquor store.
Time flew by as I cleaned up my fathers mess. Before I knew it, I only had an hour and thirty minutes. As I went into my room I pulled out the little make up I had. I wasn't big on make up, but I wanted to too decent for tonight. I wanted to impress him.
For once I wanted too feel good enough, to have a date with Camron DeBrisky.
I put eye pink shadow, brown eyeliner on my eyes. Powder on my face. Blush on my checks and mascara to top it all off with pink lipgloss. I spent thirty minutes curling my hair. This is the longest I have ever spent on my appearance.
After I got dressed, I hair sprayed my hair. I peeked in the mirror, and I looked like someone I didn't recognize. I was very proud of myself.
I couldn't believe I accomplished pulling off looking like this.
I hate girls who say they're not pretty when they obviously know they are. Im not ugly. But I'm not model material. I'm normal, just average.
I looked at my clock it was 8:56. I knew Camron would be here any second. I oped my door to my drunk parents jaw dropping and a knock at the door.
"Where are you going?" My parents asked in unison. I wasn't quite sure what to tell them. They've never really cared where I went before.
"I'm going out." Is all I could think to say at the time confused by their sudden change of caring over me. I wonder what got into them.
"You look wonderful ." My sober mom said with tears in her eyes. I was confused. She is never sober. Why did she pick tonight? Dad couldn't even talk. I guess he put that twenty to good use.
I walked to the door with butterflies flying in my stomach. I slowly turned the knob, and there was Camron waiting with flowers. He was wearing, dark blue jeans, a classic dark V-neck tee, with his usual black vans.
He looked incredible, but he always did. Our eyes met, his dark green ones looking intently into my own dull blue ones.
"Boe, you look amazing." He said. Then turning to my parents, "Nice too meet you. I'll have Boe back by midnight." He looked that them, showing no sign of being surprised.
Everyone who goes to my school, already knows my parents are drunks. Thanks too Jessica. The queen cheerleader. It's kinda embarrassing, but a girl gets used to it.
Mom finally answered. "Okay, be careful you two."
"I'll take good care of her."
My parents became drunks when my older brother died. He was only 15. Goofing off with his friends and fell off the edge of a cliff. He died instantly, no one was able to save him.
"Bye Mom and Dad." I said while closing the front door.
"Im so glad to finally get you alone." He said while walking to his truck. I blushed.
"I know what you mean," I hesitantly brought up my parents. "They didn't use to be that bad, until Mattie died." I said looking at my hands embarrassment.
"Boe, look at me." I looked up to him stoping in front of his truck.
"I will never judge you. Listen, I know we don't know each other well enough right now, but I'd like to get to know you. Your life, everything. And you don't have to be embarrassed. I understand Boe." I smiled back at him.
"Well, I'm starving. Lets go get some food." I said trying to lighten the mood and change the subject.
"I thought you'd never ask." He said while grinning.
He made his way to the driver seat as I climbed in the passenger. He started the car then abruptly stopped and looked at me.
"What?" I asked. While wondering why we haven't left yet.
"Your seatbelt. It's unbuckled and I did promise your parents I'd take care of you."
"Fine." I muttered. I rolled my eyes while fixing my seatbelt.
Then he finally began to take off. We were sitting in silence when I decided to turn up the radio station. I reached for the button.
"What do you think your doing?" He asked with amusement thick in his voice.
"I can't hear the music." I said.
"Oh I guess you wouldn't be able too. I'm sorry." Then he turned station up.
Miley Cyrus's "We Can't Stop" was playing. I began to sing along. This was one of my favorites songs.
"You like this song?" Camron sharply looked at me.
"Yes, my mom used to play Hannah Montana when I was little around the house. So when Miley decided to become this completely different singer, I can only naturally like her music." I said rambling.
"I see. Well we're here." He said while pulling into a fancy restaurant.
"You said dinner at the shack." I said knowing damn well I wasn't going to get out of the truck. This place looked too expensive.
"I made revelations for here instead Boe."
End of chapter
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Hey Katyy!
Onwards and upwards with this review? As usual the things I liked. Well, again, this was a longer chapter so more happened then I've seen in the past which is really good. I like how we learn more about the characters, and I think this has been a particular strong point of yours to have really well thought-out characters- and the fact you use show not tell to describe them is great.
I have a few things I'd like to mention in terms of the plot and what's actually going on. I firstly don't get how Boe has all this money if her house is so run down as your describe it. And she seems to be the sole income for the household even though she's still in school (weird) yet she seems to have all this extra money to splurge on nice clothes. Does she really get that much from this illegal fighting? Also, how exactly does this illegal fighting thign work and why are so many people from her school involved in it? It's something quite unheard of over here, but maybe not for where this novel is set- however I think you should explain that.
More on her parents, they're just sort of there doing nothing. Are they both unemployed? Because usually if both parents are unemployed the government will give them some sort of benefit to live on. Also, if they're drunkies who do absolutely nothing, often social services get involved too, to ensure their child is in the correct living conditions. Is she preventing this from happening?
My last point I shall make is just on description again (how exciting). What I'd really like more details on this time round the the house! How run down is it! Why isn't Boe doing anything about this? What about her room, is her room much cleaner compared to the rest of the house?
Overall, good addition to the story. Your character development is really coming along likely, my main critiques are just some plot-hole type things, and to perhaps add some more description. I hope this review helped, feel free to PM me with any questions you have or if you'd like another review.
Just keep writing!
-Arc x
Why did Camron change the date to a fancy restraunt? I think it's amusing how Camron makes her put on her seatbelt and asks her what she was doing when she was turning up the radio station. I would like to hear more about Mattie and I think you could have used more details and described him better. Like did they get along, how was Mattie being stupid with his friends, was he driving. I think you could have used more details telling that subject. To make a great book you need lots of details. Also, maybe you should describe how Jessica found out about her drunks of parents and why she would tell everyone. Did they used to be friends and ended up on a bad remark or they just naturally hate each other, or is Jessica another fighter. I think this chapter needs DETAILS, DETAILS, DETAILS!
Never forget them, ever!
Arli021
I'm here! High on coffee.
I like that you use Italics to describe the past events - like i said, I think that you use the same to describe the dream in the previous chapter.
Since reading the section in the past, I realise that Boe must have known about a little discontent between Ethan and Camron so that masculine showdown at the arena can't have been that much of a shock for her?
Woah - you've just dropped a huge bombshell about Boe's brother here! I want to know more. I need to know more. Is there a little something more sinister behind this sudden death? You've kind of left me hanging on this one.
"I made revelations for here instead Boe." - You're brain's doing that dictionary takeover thing again, Katy.
I like this chapter - we're delving a little deeper into the past now which is always good to keep the story fresh and interesting. It makes a lot easier to understand what's going on! I would like a little more detail into Mattie's death but i guess that could be coming up!
CHAPTER 6!
See you soon.
Olive <3
This....was amazing!!! But my main question is why wasnt Mattie not mentioned before in the earlier when you talked about her parents being drunks?!?! This just adds more of a twist! Keep it up, I'm excited for more!!! I need the next chapter and quick!! I cant stand the wait!
Ohhh!!!!
Okay.. I've been reading this.. And you put it on a major cliff hanger.... Please... I need more..
So, really only the basic typos... And I want more detail in this, and I'm confused with her parents etc, and why hasn't Mattie been mentioned before?
Well, this could use some work, but overall, it's a good read..
Thanks,
pegasusgirl2