OH! MY! GOD! That was incredible!
Hello, I’m Lizzy. I was just looking through the Green Room, when I stumbled upon what can only be described as pure genius. This was beautiful! Oh my gosh! I loved the style of two different people, it really pulled the whole poem together. To be quite honest, I think this was one of the best poems I’ve ever read.
I think my favorite lines was the last little bit:
“Better that then empty.
Is it Better?
It is happier.
Is it healthier?
It can be dealt with.
Can it be felt with?
It is better that feeling destruction of self.
Better that than the death of another.
Is that selfless?
It is something.”
The punctuation and line breaks were beautifully constructed, allowing the reader to read your poem with the proper pauses, that make this poem the incredible thing it is. It also shows the struggle, the author is having, with the short questions, answers, and statements.I don’t think I’ve ever written a poem this beautiful.
This is more of a long compliment than a review, but I could barely find anything wrong with it! The only thing I noticed was in the line: “Better then the death of another.”, you may want the punctuation mark a question, because it makes more sense, and it would aline with the part before and after it, because the second “narrator”, for lack of a better word, it challenging the first “narrator”. That was the only thing I found. But other than that, you poem was incredible! I hope to see more of your work around soon! Have a wonderful day, stay safe, and keep writing!
-Lizzy
Points: 1763
Reviews: 60
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