z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


12+

Automotomophobia

by JohnKlue


Automotomophobia

By John Klue

I am at the theater with my family and friends. I am watching the Puppets play.

The audience is unhappy.

Our Entertainers dance laughs sing see, 

The puppets often say more than you or me.

I witness the marionettes be with each other, 

for no reason at all.

I feel sad somehow. The happy show has made me sad somehow.

When I look away from the stage I see someone strange beside me. How can an animal seem unnatural? I see the shape of a woman and the form of static. Cold frozen suspended silhouettes of unpeople. I am in the arctic ocean. An ocean of unpeople. Laughing crying in Bipolar cacophony. I see us everywhere. 

Then I look back to the stage, I am happy again. The Puppets can make me happy again. My People can make me—again.

I am proud of my People on the stage, They are so strong they are so brave, They are all new they are all true they are all ME………..


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
122 Reviews

Points: 1150
Reviews: 122

Donate
Sun Feb 19, 2023 2:42 am
GengarIsBestBoy wrote a review...



Howdy hey! I’m Gengar, here to write a review.

This poem caught my eye because of the title relating to puppets. I don’t know why, but something about puppets in fiction that’s inherently interesting to me.

This might be a weird interpretation, but this kinda feels like cosmic horror/madness in a sense (I may or may not be using this term right, lol). In the beginning, the narrator is simply at a puppet show with their family, symbolizing the simple lives we mortals live. But then, for just a moment, they get a glimpse of a world beyond their own (the ocean of unpeople). When the look away, they try to pretend they’ve never seen it, but how could someone ever forget something like that? Finally, the narrator is rambling and is probably going mad.

Overall, really great poem! I really like the structure of the poem and how the emotions fluctuate.




User avatar
962 Reviews

Points: 39
Reviews: 962

Donate
Wed Sep 01, 2021 8:26 pm
View Likes
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Wow! This was magical and poetic! My favorite part is how the character starts off sad when looking at the puppets,but looks back and feels whole again.I loved this lesson that was being taught in the poem:Sometimes,in life,you have to smile and dance in the face of problems,like the puppets mentioned here,because it shows the world how strong you really are.

Good job!




User avatar
89 Reviews

Points: 391
Reviews: 89

Donate
Sat Aug 21, 2021 4:44 pm
View Likes
mordax wrote a review...



Hey there, Mordax here for a review!

So, I was immediately drawn to this poem because I am a sucker for puppet imagery, and you did not disappoint. I loved the flow of this poem, the rocky emotions that can be felt from this almost detached, illusionary feel to fear and chaos then to calm, numbed resolution. You accomplished this complete shift in tone well through both diction and structure, changing the format of the poem as the tone shifts. Really clever and it helped to increase the impact and magnitude of the tone you wished to convey while also distinguishing the clear lines between emotions.

That being said, while you have these shifts in emotion and the clear lines between them, I felt an underlying consistent tone throughout the poem, this itching dreamlike feel. From the beginning, as you characterize the puppets as saying more than the narrator and provide this imagery of the stage and the audience, you establish this tone and meaning that the narrator is rather insignificant, another speck in this broad audience while it is the stage under spotlight. You again use this feel in the next emotion switch, taking us readers into a kind of horror film where we are caught up in the chaos and fearful imagery along with the narrator, lacking control and watching as an audience would. And again, this distinction between the narrator as a viewer and these puppets as the 'show' is repeated in the third segment. I loved how you did this for it really pushed this feeling of lacking control, both in action and emotion, for these sudden emotion switches and feelings are said forcefully as though someone were pulling the strings of the narrator and telling them how to feel. I adored this aspect of the poem and am envious of your ability to pull it off so seamlessly. It really conveys this theme (at least this is what I derived from it) of the supposed human being the puppet rather than the puppets on stage. I really relate and agree with this sentiment given how media and entertainment often do control many aspects of our lives from our interests, to mental states, to even relationships. I see this point in every part of this poem, starting at the beginning. It really alludes to the present day and how we stare at our devices and social media, seeing these relationships and stories that we aren't living and being a bit sad because of it. The next segment is like viewing the world beyond the stage and seeing the 'real puppets' then, and the horror the world truly is, this chaos. Then, ending off the poem with calling these puppets "People" only affirms this sentiment, setting it into stone, for these strings that control us are being humanized and idolized, placed upon a pedestal until we no longer see them as puppets but rather as parts of ourselves, parts of the world, and a way of life, dismissing this utter lack of control we have. And it is only natural that we do--or so this poem's biased point makes us believe--for the world beyond the stage is frightening, 'a sea of unpeople', but on that stage is beauty nd where the 'real people' are.

Phew, I apologize for that long drawn out analysis and I realize now I really provided no critique. In all honesty, I don't quite have any. I loved this poem and I am amazed by your talent. I particularly loved the phrase 'bipolar cacophony'. It's a beautifully written phrase and really encapsulates the emotional turmoil of this poem.

Wonderful job and keep writing!!!

Mordax




JohnKlue says...


thank you.




I say, in matters of the heart, treat yo' self.
— Donna, Parks & Rec