Another Story I wrote in history lol. Enjoy!
The Meaningless War
Screams of agony echoed across the battlefield, as soldiers were cut down by clouds of arrows. Dust kicked up around us, making visibility almost zero. Swords started clashing in the distance, followed by more screams. Flashes of metal on metal surrounded me as I parried and blocked oncoming blows.
I killed another foe, and was faced with a general as he charged me with a rapier and shield. He thrust the rapier above my head, moving so fast that my eyesight barely followed. I ducked below the strike, only to be pummeled in the face with his shield. As I felt the cartilage snap, hot liquid start to pour out of my nose on to the ground.
I saw my vision blur as my opponent approached me, his sword gleaming a sickly red. He pointed it at my throat, threatening to take my life. I laughed as more of my soldiers died around me. There is always a cost in war, even if it is meaningless... I thought as he brought his blade above my head.
Right before he struck, his chest erupted and a broadsword protruded out of it. The man's eyes rolled into the back of his head as life left his body.
The sword retracted from the man before he fell and I saw who had saved my life. The figure offered their hand, and I gladly accepted.
Once I was on my feet, I looked at the figure. He was equipped with light black battle armor, and a heavy two-handed broadsword. He had a black helmet that surrounded his head and a dark cloth that covered his face.
He nodded to me once and ran off into the fray that surrounded us. I leaned over, scooped up the shield, and headed towards a group of my soldiers that were struggling against the onslaught of the Imperial Army.
One of my men screamed as a soldier cut through his armor, piercing his torso. I quickly side-stepped an oncoming blow from a soldier, bashed him in the face with the studded shield, and forced my longsword into the man's stomach.
He coughed up blood and went limp. I tossed his body onto the dusty ground and prepared myself for another attack.
I watched as the man next to me overpowered one of the soldiers, his sword ripping through the tendons in the man's neck.
A horn echoed across the field, signaling to retreat. My men started to fall back to the line of trees that led into the Zaladian Forest.
I turned towards the forest and made a mad dash for the cover of a tree. As I crossed into the forest, one of the leaders jogged over to me.
"Archers are waiting for your orders sir!" he said. I nodded to the young man and replied, "Tell them to set up along the tree line. We're going to take back our land."
The leader saluted, then went and relayed my orders to the archers. Hundreds of men with bows and arrows lined up along the tree line.
"First wave use fire arrows! Second wave night arrows! Then, on my command, all out frontal assault!" A yell of encouragement rippled throughout the soldiers.
I looked out beyond the tree line to see that the Empirasian Army had regrouped and were marching across the blood-stained ground.
"First wave! Ready!.... Fire!" I yelled. I watched as hundreds of smLl orbs of orange were launched into the air. Right before the arrows struck their target, the soldiers huddled under their shields, blocking the oncoming volley of flaming arrows.
Some screams were heard as a few arrows found un-shielded targets. Those soldiers were enveloped in flames, leaving their charred bodies to rot in the dust.
“Second wave night arrows!” I yelled. The archers pulled back their bows and let go the volley of arrows. The enemy soldiers had continued to march towards the Forest, as the unseen arrows rained down upon them.
Thousands of them were pierced with the arrows, dropping to the ground in pain. The Imperial Army started to scatter, breaking their ranks. I took advantage of this moment.
"Attack!" I yelled while rushing forward with my sword held high. A cheer of enthusiasm erupted behind me as the rest of the men joined me in the rush.
This was war....
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140,084 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
I like this piece of writing!
The way you set your atmosphere at the start was pretty good in my opinion, that shows the brutality of the situation the main character is in. The only typo I noticed was at the begining:
But regardless the way you describe you combat is impressive, especially the part where he is saved by the man in black armour, I can imagine this part very well.
I love the cliffhanger you have put in at the end here, leaving the reader with no clue on whether or not the main character will survive or not.
Hey, Wes, you finally finished this amazing story. Not much to nit-pick about.
Keep it up!
Hello! I really like where you're trying to go with this; like how war costs so much in death tolls and how they're so meaningless, am I right? I just think you could elaborate on that more. You do pretty well writing the combat, and at one point the main character is thinking about the cost of war but you just leave it at that and continue writing combat so the story doesn't really go anywhere. My suggestion is you have a soldier realize, right in the heat of battle, that war is stupid and then you have him try to desert, or something. Or, you could have the main character actually die. That would be pretty cool too.
I'm going to do a little nitpicking now, in case you don't change it (or if you do, I guess). My editings are in red, my suggestions/comments in blue.
I didn't have to use any red! Congratulations for not having any typos