The other reviewers seemed to have caught quite a few of the mistakes I would have. So I'll simply comment on the context of the writing itself.
First off, I liked the idea behind the piece, but I feel that much of the writing itself was written too plain and flat out. It was, good, but not great. My interest was held for the simple fact that this was quite easy to understand and interpret. The fact that it was so short was more of a reason I would expect to have seen a little more done with this. You could have gone deeper in description. You could have set more of a mood for the audience, other than the fact that this was about a man out on a pleasurable killing rampage.
The ending was okay, but a little anticipated. Not very original. I would have enjoyed to read something a little more spiced up and intense. Be creative with your words. Never only go for the obvious. You're writing will read better this way. I can promise that. And if you're going for a certain mood, put yourself in that mood. Allow the words to flow into the story. Make it truly about something. Give it some soul, some rhythm.
Other than this, I have to say you did an alright job here.
Points: 23786
Reviews: 403
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