Some things eat away at us, constantly devouring us to the very core. Will of mind or strength of soul isn’t enough to be rid of these demons. You need something stronger than that, you need to know who you are.
Me? Well, I used to know who I was, I was even happy with that
person. Now I find myself looking back and thinking, who is she? And more
importantly, where is she?
I would give a lot to go back and find her, that person who I was
growing up to be. But who I have become finds the sacrifice too much. I
could never give him up. I mean, he is everything my life is about, as
much as I hate to admit it. I have found something to live for, and
something I can’t live without.
It’s a precarious path to be stuck on. One where at any moment
you can plummet to the ground below where you will be stuck forever, or
stay trailing, praying to God that things work out. It would be so easy to
believe that it could go on forever, but to believe so would be like believing
in Santa again. A lovely but impossible religion.
I am who I am, and who I am is not who I was.
I would love to tell you what happened, but I’m not ready, I
can’t admit that it’s true. Admitting would mean I have to accept that
something must change.
All I can tell you is that I fell head first into love. I got stuck in
that lovely feeling of eternal flight. And now I found myself trapped in it,
wishing I could get out, but afraid of what would happen if I did.
Don’t look down. It’s a long fall. I’m not afraid of heights so
much as the fall that each one ensures.
What’s going to happen when I fall?
I can sense it coming, and I’m scared. Soon, very soon.
I will remember.
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125,014 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
Yeah, JC, this was beautifully written. You really connected with your reader and established a kind of connection with them. You made them feel apart of what you were creating with your writing and that's a wonderful thing.
It was so passionate, so personal, the words you wrote that I couldn't stop reading until I was all the way through.
This piece is a great stand-alone thing where you really don't have to add anything. It is one of those things that the reader can infer on their own; one where they can make up their own mind about the piece.
And that's a good thing
Wonderful job!
I liked this. It perfectly describes how a lot of people go about with false hopes and beliefs.
Nicely put.
:]
I loved it, it was so heart wrenchingly sad and beautiful about dangerouse love (lol im getting a bit poetic here) it flowed so well, i was gripped from the first line. was it just a thing you wrote from thtop of your head or was it the start of a book? i think it would sound great in a book, i would want to read on so much
i would buy that book! 
lol keep writing, i really liked it, very poetic and as i said before it flowed well
Wow. Just Wow.
This peice is incredible! I didn't find anything wrong with it and I'm in love with the way you worded this, I hope you write something to go along with this and please, please, please continue writing!
~Anonymous~
I really like the intimate aspect to it. I loved how you worded your sentences. I love the way you describe your feelings and how and where you feel you are. Very well done.
I really really really like this. It has a lot of emotion.
I like how you talk about wanting to be a kid again, but know it's impossible.
The line where it says believing in Santa is an impossible religion, well that was just perfect.
Eh, whether it is or isn't, it still gives me something to think about =D
I guess this was supposed to be a tad depressing...less of a story than just character emotions. A spur of boredom...plus for some reason I tend to write unequivocally melancholy stuff...
Thanks for reading!
-JC
Wow. That was really good.
"But who I have become finds the sacrifice too much."
At first, this line confused me. Then i read it again, and it made sense. (Second time around, i really liked it) So i'm not sure if I was careless reading it, or if it really is a confusing line. Just something to think about. (I guess that isn't very helpful)
=)
hey JCobsesed
i really liked reading this piece you wrote, it was deep and rather touching.
I also like the style of writing you use its really holds your interest and feel for the character.
I think it could have been a bit depressing and maybe overly dramatic, but you made it work.
Well, this was a kind of spur of the moment thing I thought of. I'm fairly certain that's all there is going to be of it, but I might decide to persue it further eventually.
Sam- I see what you're saying, and I do agree. Actually, if this story does continue, then it would be one of those overdone love story's people tend to have such an attachment to. So it would end up being happy with a promised dark ending. And thank you so much for what you said.
That made my day =D
Thanks for reading =D I really appreciate it!
-JC
Hey, JCobseed!
Ah, an absolutely beautiful line. It's true, but one of those things that no one ever says.
I'm probably not being helpful by saying this, but a word of warning: it's a bit dark. Why is this bad? Dark is good, right?
Well, it is, but not in the context of emo-izing. Think about several famous love stories: Romeo and Juliet, Wesley and Princess Buttercup...they've all got some fantastic tales to tell, and by bottling them up in a moody shell, it loses the effect.
I really liked this piece, but it's just a word of warning. The first bit can be a bit pensieve, but it's got to lighten up within the next few pages or all the happy people will put it down to look for something else.
With that not-so-helpful information having been said, I've got to say- I really like the way you write. You have a penchant for quoteable lines, huh? Very cool. We all wish we could write like that.
PM me if you've got any questions or want me to look at something further.
Hey JC.
Nice work on this. It seemed quite intimate, with the connection you built with the reader. I didn't find anythign wrong, but I just have to comment on some thing I really liked:
I am who I am, and who I am is not who I was.
That was really cool. Nice wording, it made an impact.
I just have to ask; will there be more of this, or is it just a stand alone piece? I hope there will be more one day.
-Mat