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Young Writers Society



Thinking of You...

by JC


Hey, Grandma…I realize it’s been a while since I’ve spoken to you…but I’ve had a lot to do these past few years. Today I was looking out the window, and I saw this bird, flying along-side the car. It was a blue-jay, your favorite.

It reminded me of you.

The seventh Harry Potter book came out today, I remember when you read me the first two. Hearing your voice made them all that much better. Then we read the third one on our own…I didn’t like that one so much. And then over that summer I was reading you the fourth one. But I lost the book, I don’t remember the end of it…do you?

I lent one of my friends the sixth book the other day, you would like that one.

Have you seen any blue-jays lately? It was the first I’ve seen in this area. Normally there are just those loud annoying parrots.

Remember the parrots at the stable where you took me to learn horseback riding? And the hair extensions we put in my hair. Mom didn’t believe that the water horses drink makes hair grow really long. I thought it was brilliant though. We laughed for hours.

I managed to sit still today, for a while to. I know, Ethan told me. He asked how I managed not to move for so long. Do you know what I said?

“It’s the princess lessons from Grandma.”

He looked at me like I was crazy. I thought you would like that. I remember that, though. The princess lessons. Having to sit still for five minutes was hard. What if you had an itch?

“Princesses don’t have itches,” you told me.

I think they do. Everybody has their itches. It just a matter of scratching them.

I don’t know why I’m writing this though. I suppose it was the blue jay that reminded me of what Mom said. On that day she came up to me and said, “Beckie, remember what grandma’s favorite bird is?”

“Blue jay,” I replied quietly.

“That’s right. Next time you see one, I want you to think of Grandma.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because, Grandma always said that she would come back as a blue jay, just to watch over you.”

I think it was you, Grandma. A blue jay, come to watch me live my life. My own guardian. And I remember, I don’t want you to think I’ve forgotten. The lessons, sewing, horseback, sitting still. I remember the zoo trip when we got lost and followed the signs home. I remember sitting through re-runs of Martha Stewart with you, just so I could watch The Price is Right. I don’t think you would like Martha now though, people change too much. I watch the old episodes, though, especially the thanksgiving ones…those were your favorites.

And I remember piano lessons, and reading Bell Teal, and Harry Potter. Now I find myself wondering…

Grandma, do blue jay’s like Harry Potter? I’d really like to finish the fourth book.


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Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:07 pm
Twit wrote a review...



I found this very good, and emotional; not scatter-brained at all. It was like a conversation - or a letter, and either way works fine.

JC wrote:I lent one of my friends the sixth book the other day, you would like that one.


These are your sentances with misplaced commas again. :wink: Semi-colon or start a new sentance. I think the latter would be best.


JC wrote:Grandma, do blue jay’s like Harry Potter?


Jay's = jays.




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Mon Jul 23, 2007 1:53 pm
Emerson says...



Hm. But see, to me, the scatterbrain feel didn't make it feel young, it just made it feel scatter brained. And you can still be scatter brained at 50, so how does that express age?

A better way to express age through writing is sentence structure and vocabulary. If you go talk to a seven-year-old, they'll sound a specific way, compared to a thirteen-year-old [Unless they're insanely smart or something, like Sam :roll:] Those are really the only ways I could think of that would help you express the feel of childishness, but I'm sure if you found some fiction written like this you would get a good idea. I can't think of any books atm, though... Hope this helps.




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Sun Jul 22, 2007 7:22 pm
JC says...



I tried writing it from a really young perspective, so it was kind-of supposed to be scatterbrained.




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Sun Jul 22, 2007 5:33 pm
Emerson wrote a review...



I managed to sit still today, for a while too.


It's just a matter of scratching them.


This was cute, but in a real "scatter brained" sort of way. I'd cut out all of the ellipses [...] they just bothered me.

I don't know what to say about it. I don't think it was real navel gazing, but it didn't go anywhere either. It had a cute meaning behind it, but it just came off as overly rambly, and much more of a letter written to your grandma, than a piece of fiction.

I hate to go and compare to my memoir, and I don't even know if that was good, but when I wrote it, even when I rambled I tried to keep in mind where I was going. I always rambled about something because it was getting me to the next topic, or because it made time move forward, or it was meaningful. Now, I did ramble a lot, but I moved forward. I felt like this didn't move [very] forward. Probably because nothing is really happening.

Like I said, it was sweet, but otherwise I didn't get much from it. The writing wasn't bad, though!





A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom. He has no master except his own soul, and that, I am sure, is why he does it.
— Roald Dahl