Consuming greed is not the worst thing.
Consuming fear is worse.
Yet the two are related,
For greed is fear of loss.
However, there are more fears than merely loss.
There is also fear of gain.
This is even more troubling,
Because it implies duplicity with one's self.
That's why fear is worse than greed.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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127,976 Literary Works • 671,488 Reviews
This is really great! My favorite thing about it is that it really makes you think. Great job!
It's cool that you are featured twice!
I think this work is very dark in its way. Almost as if you are making a commmmmentary on the darker points in life.
Fear and greed asre related I guess, but it doesn't make me feel very happy to think about it.
However, you have written this so well, that when you get to the end, it all make sense and your point is actually really good.
Well done.
Thank you!
Simple, but beautiful. I love it. Especially the way you used the word consume, I haven't seen the word used in that way much before. Though I do believe the word "troubling" in the third last line could be replaced with a more dramatic or stronger word. However it's only a suggestion and completely opinion based, and I'm sure that there are other readers who would disagree.
*reads over poem* Well, that appears to be this piece's only flaw, well done.^^
Favourite part:
A perfect ending, don't stop writing!
~w&w
Thank you!
You're welcome.
Hello, there!
Rachel here to review!
I like the concept you've created here. It's good "food for thought." However, I found part of this a little confusing.
How does a fear of gain imply duplicity with oneself? I'm not sure how those two relate. If you could, you should elaborate and explain how these relate, and how fear of gain leads to this. In doing that, you may also be able to some length to your poem, as it's on the shorter side.
Otherwise, great job! This is well written, with a clear meaning (for the most part.) Kep writing; I'd love to see how you work with this.
-Rae
Thanks
hey there , smile is here to review your work ....
ok , so lets see , this was a very good piece , it's simple and unique .
i love this kind of writing , when you write a simple work , including a message , but it's clear,and everyone could get it .
let me start with the good things .
first the rhythm , one word to describe it ... " amazing "...
then the theme , it's not usual , but good , which is what the reader like and want .
now ,i'm not gonna say the parts i didn't like cause i loved every part of your work , but i am gonna say the things i wanna add , which are the imagery , the description,they will make your poem perfect and longer ,and before i forget i think your work should be in " poetry " category instead of "other " .
so keep up the good work
Thank you! I wasn't sure whether it was a poem or a concept but thanks anyways.
you are welcome