A Stream Of Consciousness

Is this inspired by Jack Kerouac? I'm reading him right now, he is the inventor of stream of consciousness after all

I really love this piece.
Espeically the fact that you haven't used cpital letters, because for some reason it puts your point across so much better I have no idea why.
THis seems to be a very intelligent work that you hav put a lot of thought into it and I really enjoyed reading it.
I hope to see more work from you like this in the future.

Hi.

I really liked your piece, and when I say that, I mean I really really liked it.
So, i'll begin by saying that the structure you chose was a very risky one. It could have gone wrong in so many ways. There are no (well not really any prominent ones) elements of traditional or general sense of poetry, and there is absolutely nothing cheerful about it. There is a strange kind of sadness, or morbidity, which is very strongly supporter by the structure. It might not have been this good, had it been another structure. The beauty lies in the cracks it talks about, in it's sadness.

Your choice of words is very good. They are in appropriate measure, and work magic.

I really dont have any nitpicks, or much else to say, because when you like a thing a lot, you generally cant say much about why you like it.
So, i'll just quote my favourite part of the piece:
"maybe i'm just tired, terribly tired. it's a strange kind of
tired because it's not the kind of tired you feel when
you don't get enough sleep. it's the kind of tired when
you can't find the right words to express yourself."

The piece is very relatable, and is gonna stay close to me, at least for a while.

Keep writing!
-Erin

Wow. This really spoke to me. It actually gave me chills, and I can relate to a lot of it. Each image is very beautiful in my mind, and each line is just gorgeous in its own way. My favorite lines are: "like an inconstant convection current/floating above a cup of tea." and: perhaps it's slight insanity, not cutting/off an ear to get the painting right or/becoming paranoid to bring a poem to life."
If anything, I find it a little bit awkward that you have a conjunction followed by a break in the lines. It just messes with how I'm reading the poem. Maybe place the conjunction at the beginning of the line instead?
Thank you so much for writing, this is one of my favorite poems on this website yet! Good luck in your future endeavors.

I really like this piece, it speaks to me more than you know. But as I come to review it I find myself disappointed; I can't find anything of which to criticize this wonderful poem of yours but one small thing:

soul in your work. a Van Gogh or Poe type insanity.

iii

maybe i'm just tired, terribly tired. it's a strange kind of
tired because it's not the kind of tired you feel when
you don't get enough sleep. it's the kind of tired when
you can't find the right words to express yourself.

The words "writer's block" scream at me when reading this!
I really like this!
Only thing that stood out:

maybe i'm just tired, terribly tired. it's a weird kind of
tired because it's not the kind of tired you feel when
you don't get enough sleep. it's the kind of tired when
you can't find the right words to express yourself.

This is an excellent commentary on writer's (or artist's) block. I have had this feeling many times myself. I really enjoyed reading this. There's an expectation that stream of conciousness writing be muddled or hard to understand, but I just completely got this. Great work.

This was fun and playful and I really enjoyed this. It really read like a stream of consciousness thing (I'm assuming it probably was.) I love how you invoked Van Gogh and and Poe in your poem using then as an example of the insanity that artists fall into when hitting a road block in your creativity.

You have also managed to put into words this fatigue I really couldn't express to anyone else besides the few people in my life who actually write. Wonderful flow, beautifully written and super fun. I really enjoyed reading it.