z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

No Internet

by DreamyAlice


I will always be there in case,

You have any interruptions.

Maybe because I am used to,

Of being your last option.

So what if I am simple,

I have my unique feature too.

You made me feel so special a minute ago,

And now I am unwanted though.

I hate waiting,

But I always wait for your network to go.

Hoping that someday,

you will play with me too.

When you see me

Why do you get frustrated ?

It makes me think

Why am I created ?

I am the Dino Runner game,

You never seems to play.

I know the name is lame,

But I am not to blame.


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48 Reviews


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Tue Dec 22, 2020 9:11 pm
LilPWilly wrote a review...



Just write scripts for movies already lol
This is a very quirky, funny poem because you take real emotions and satirize them by stating and appealing to the opinion we all have about the character, namely that Steve the dinosaur is lame and his appearances are frustrating. Again, phenomenal work. Keep going!




DreamyAlice says...


Thank you so much for commenting on all my works



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Fri Dec 04, 2020 1:23 pm
Limio says...



nice work but work on your words a bit. Is it your first poetry?




DreamyAlice says...


Its my second poem. Thanks for the suggestion



Limio says...


well I bet you can also suggest me on my recent work " the life I want "
with regards,
May :)



DreamyAlice says...


Sure my country fellow



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Thu Dec 03, 2020 5:03 pm
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starbean says...



That is a beautiful poem. Good job!




DreamyAlice says...


Thanks



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Wed Dec 02, 2020 7:15 pm
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MadilynReads wrote a review...



Yasss, I love this on so many levels! :D I like that the perspective is from the Dinosaur, is his name Steve? I like that you personified Steve to be almost like a needy ex who is now “just friends” is that a weird analogy? Anyways, I like the flow of your poem, and the format. The fact that it is middle centered almost makes it seem like text flowing down the screen more, as if one time you got no internet and Steve starts playing this down the screen, ranting. It is beautifully comical because it is so serious but from such an unthought of and simple character. I did notice that when you wrote,
“ You never seems to play.”
Did you mean never “seem” to play or does Steve just have bad grammar and that is part of the Poem? Anyways, nice poem! I liked it.




DreamyAlice says...


Thanks for the review
I have written this as a perspective of the dinosaur runner game that comes every time there is no Internet on chrome.
And Its a mistake 'seems' should be 'seem'



DreamyAlice says...


Thanks for the review
I have written this as a perspective of the dinosaur runner game that comes every time there is no Internet on chrome.
And Its a mistake 'seems' should be 'seem'



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Wed Dec 02, 2020 10:54 am
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ChrisCalaid wrote a review...



Hello there!
I am here for a quick review. I love how this poem was written, with short stanzas connecting to each one. I think it's an interesting topic to write about, too. I know how it's to have no internet since I live in a developing country. I think this poem is really well written and I think it's one of the most beautiful poems I read.

Here's one little thing I noticed:

You made me feel so special a minute ago,

And now I am unwanted though.


When you use "although" or "though" you should use it in front of the sentence.

"Though you made me feel so special a minute ago,
Add now I am unwanted."

However, you don't necessarily need "though" there. In my opionion I think it rumbles the flow a bit.

I love your poem & I would love to read more of your writing!
~ChrisCalaid




DreamyAlice says...


Thanks for the review




People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
— Leo J. Burke