Hi! clogs here for my first review in 5 years, so I hope I can say something helpful.
I enjoyed how your poem took me through the different seasons. You chose very evocative words to describe each season, and it went a long way in conveying the feeling of each season. In fact, it almost makes it feel excessive when you name each season. You don't need to tell me that it's autumn because I already understood that from the "maze of yellow wood" and the "crackling of leaves." I think if you focus on just describing the environment, you won't need to specify what season it is, and it could make for a more natural transition between them.
I do think that this poem could benefit from a readthrough to make sure everything makes sense - I had to read through the third and fourth stanzas a few times because there were some line breaks and phrasings that threw me. For instance:
a boat sailed with no purpose
on the watery route of teenage
some become mold other mud
This read to me as though you missed a word or two to complete your thoughts. I was thinking, teenage what? Teenage years? Teenage dreams? It distracted me from reading the poem, and it seemed unintentional given that the rest of the poem reads much more naturally and easily.
I also want to say that I loved the ending - perfectly open-ended, but summative of the journey taken throughout the poem.
Keep up the good work!
Points: 3742
Reviews: 274
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