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Letter to memories

by DreamyAlice

letter to memories

You know right?
a little girl
waited for you, if you
even remember
to cheer
to clap
to just show up
to be proud
but as she stood there
a lost soul in a crowd
her eyes wandered
to find a familiar face
she kept her expectations low
to be honest it didn't matter to her
if you were there or not, existed or not
foolish were her views I know
but sad was the reality that made
her think of this hard truth
the light that shone
on the stage
blinded her eyes
from the people down below
a hope twinkled
that maybe someone
will stand up and hug
after her performance was finished
busy and working?
heard that all the time
Father; I know I know
the problem was never
your loss presence
but the utter ignorance
of your own blood
your own child
it was easy, maybe
for you but not for a kid
who saw others
hand in hand with their superheroes
sharing stories of everyday
with a smile on their face
and had to pretend to
not care
soon the act turned into reality
looks like she doesn't care
for real now
for her heart was bleeding
sorrow was pouring
yet she didn't realize
what was wrong
a part of her mistook
broken life for perfect reality

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240 Reviews

Points: 16328
Reviews: 240

Sat Jun 10, 2023 9:02 am
AkuRashomon wrote a review...

Hey there ALICE! Since you like your name in caps. This is Ina aka loveissourgrapes and I am here to give you a review/comment.

First impressions. I thought it would a happy story about those happy memories you have but instead, it was a sad poem about a little girl preforming, probably for school and her father wasn't present. I imagine a little girl in a big stage and when her performance ended, her father was not around. It is just sad that your father was not around when you did a big accomplishment in school as a young girl. When one of your parents are not around, it does effect your childhood and your life now. I hope you are okay if this is not fictional.

Overall, it is great! Keep on writing! Havs a fantastic day/night!

DreamyAlice says...

Hey Ina! Thanks for the review<3 And yah this is not purely fictional, it does represent my real emotions and thoughts as well as it is free for the interpretations of others. And as the poem said, I am guilty of not really caring for real now. I loved you reading my poems, I appreciate it^-^

AkuRashomon says...

You're welcome!

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172 Reviews

Points: 34172
Reviews: 172

Fri Jun 09, 2023 8:31 pm
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Roxanne wrote a review...

Hey there,

It's amazing how you express your emotions and experiences through your words. It's clear that you have a talent for capturing feelings and painting vivid pictures with your writing.

The poem starts with a sense of longing and disappointment. I can feel the young girl's anticipation and hope for your presence, and the way she describes herself as a lost soul in a crowd really resonates. The way you convey her low expectations and the understanding that it doesn't really matter if you show up or not is quite powerful. It's sad to think about a child feeling that way, but it's a harsh reality for many.

I found the imagery of the shining stage and the people down below who are blinded by the light to be very effective. It adds a layer of isolation to the girl's experience, as if she's separated from everyone else by this performance. The hope she holds onto, that someone will stand up and hug her after her performance, shows her desire for connection and validation. It's heartbreaking to read about her longing for that fatherly love and attention.

The lines where she acknowledges busyness and work, but highlights the ignorance towards your own blood, really struck a chord with me. It's a poignant reminder that sometimes we prioritize things that seem important at the time, but in doing so, we neglect the people who mean the most to us. The girl's realization that she had to pretend not to care and eventually believing that she truly doesn't care anymore is a painful transformation. The image of her bleeding heart and the sorrow pouring out captures the depth of her emotions.

Overall, your poem is a raw and heartfelt expression of a young girl's experiences and emotions. It explores themes of disappointment, longing, and the impact of neglect. Your use of imagery and vivid language helps to create a strong emotional connection with the reader. Keep writing and sharing your voice with the world, it's an important one.



Red Riddle Rose

DreamyAlice says...

I loved your review, you summarized the poem well. Thanks!

Roxanne says...

I'm glad to hear that my review was appreciated. But hey, a great poem deserves a great review :D.
Keep on doing what you do!

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54 Reviews

Points: 9805
Reviews: 54

Fri Jun 09, 2023 11:39 am
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MerleBlackbird wrote a review...

Ahhh this is accurate. I love how this poem explains it. It's not really the things a child is missing, it's the fact that everyone else has them. The child ends up feeling left out, singled out, cursed in a crowd. And then, when the child finally stops caring, it's like she becomes a different person. Stronger, less feeling, more detached, far too mature for her age. Incredible work on this one. :')

DreamyAlice says...

ah Exactly! Thanks for the review<3

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10 Reviews

Points: 125
Reviews: 10

Fri Jun 09, 2023 3:42 am
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tropicalmango wrote a review...

Tropical mango here for another review after reading your previous poem!!
This poem was really a different vibe from your last one, it takes a micro view at someone's life and approaches at a much more personal level, leading to much more emotional ommph. I like how this poem in a sense resembles prose, and the simpler language choice reflects the girl's naivety and inexperience, making the pain she has to endure even worse.
I like the angle this poem approaches from as well, criticising the father; I interpret it as the girl has grown up and this is a letter she is writing to her father about her childhood, hence the title "letter to memories".
The nostalgia and hits here were really on point, especially with the word "superheroes" that really showed what she missed out on compared to the others who had their parent's attention.
I like the different sorts of poetry you present, keep up the good work!!
Lots of love, tropical mango.

DreamyAlice says...

Thanks for the review, I really appriciate it^-^

Why can't I put the entire Bee Movie in the quote generator? Would you prefer if I put in the Shrek script instead?
— CaptainJack