Young Writers Society

Hey there ALICE! Since you like your name in caps. This is Ina aka loveissourgrapes and I am here to give you a review/comment.

First impressions. I thought it would a happy story about those happy memories you have but instead, it was a sad poem about a little girl preforming, probably for school and her father wasn't present. I imagine a little girl in a big stage and when her performance ended, her father was not around. It is just sad that your father was not around when you did a big accomplishment in school as a young girl. When one of your parents are not around, it does effect your childhood and your life now. I hope you are okay if this is not fictional.

Overall, it is great! Keep on writing! Havs a fantastic day/night!

Hey there,

It's amazing how you express your emotions and experiences through your words. It's clear that you have a talent for capturing feelings and painting vivid pictures with your writing.

The poem starts with a sense of longing and disappointment. I can feel the young girl's anticipation and hope for your presence, and the way she describes herself as a lost soul in a crowd really resonates. The way you convey her low expectations and the understanding that it doesn't really matter if you show up or not is quite powerful. It's sad to think about a child feeling that way, but it's a harsh reality for many.

I found the imagery of the shining stage and the people down below who are blinded by the light to be very effective. It adds a layer of isolation to the girl's experience, as if she's separated from everyone else by this performance. The hope she holds onto, that someone will stand up and hug her after her performance, shows her desire for connection and validation. It's heartbreaking to read about her longing for that fatherly love and attention.

The lines where she acknowledges busyness and work, but highlights the ignorance towards your own blood, really struck a chord with me. It's a poignant reminder that sometimes we prioritize things that seem important at the time, but in doing so, we neglect the people who mean the most to us. The girl's realization that she had to pretend not to care and eventually believing that she truly doesn't care anymore is a painful transformation. The image of her bleeding heart and the sorrow pouring out captures the depth of her emotions.

Overall, your poem is a raw and heartfelt expression of a young girl's experiences and emotions. It explores themes of disappointment, longing, and the impact of neglect. Your use of imagery and vivid language helps to create a strong emotional connection with the reader. Keep writing and sharing your voice with the world, it's an important one.



Me,

Red Riddle Rose

Ahhh this is accurate. I love how this poem explains it. It's not really the things a child is missing, it's the fact that everyone else has them. The child ends up feeling left out, singled out, cursed in a crowd. And then, when the child finally stops caring, it's like she becomes a different person. Stronger, less feeling, more detached, far too mature for her age. Incredible work on this one. :')

Tropical mango here for another review after reading your previous poem!!
This poem was really a different vibe from your last one, it takes a micro view at someone's life and approaches at a much more personal level, leading to much more emotional ommph. I like how this poem in a sense resembles prose, and the simpler language choice reflects the girl's naivety and inexperience, making the pain she has to endure even worse.
I like the angle this poem approaches from as well, criticising the father; I interpret it as the girl has grown up and this is a letter she is writing to her father about her childhood, hence the title "letter to memories".
The nostalgia and hits here were really on point, especially with the word "superheroes" that really showed what she missed out on compared to the others who had their parent's attention.
I like the different sorts of poetry you present, keep up the good work!!
Lots of love, tropical mango.