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The Great God of Writing

by Horisun

I wish there was a god of writing
Who could judge my work so fair and true
Should I write crap, they'd chuck lightning 
No need for an editor or two

They would issue a few commandments
Like, "Show don't tell" and all that jazz
Lest you go to a writers hellscape
The editing process and pizazz

They wouldn't be benevolent but
I don't believe they'd be unkind
They wouldn't demand no sacrifice
But our patience, wills, and minds

Yet that's part of writing anyhow
So I think it's a pretty sick deal
I'd surely take the free editor
Should this literature god prove real 

Is this a review?



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278 Reviews

Points: 18564
Reviews: 278

Tue Jun 07, 2022 5:22 am
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LittleLee wrote a review...

Hi Horisun! I'm here to drop off a quick review! :)

This poem made me laugh. I too would love to have a writing god I can worship who keeps me in line xD

I like the rhyme scheme too! You've tried to stick with it throughout and for the most part it worked. The only place it didn't was with "real" and "deal". They don't really rhyme well. :P

They wouldn't demand no sacrifice

I don't have a problem with using a double negative like this, but since you only used it once, it feels a bit out of place.

But our patience, wills, and minds

I'd remove the plurals.

I love how you suggested that the editing process is a hellacape, because it absolutely is. xD

Overall, this is a quaint and enjoyable piece :D i hope to check out more of your work soon!


Horisun says...

Thank you for the review! Some of the stanzas you%u2019ve pointed out felt super clunky to me, and I couldn%u2019t place why, but your criticism helps loads! :D

LittleLee says...

Happy to be of help!

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Points: 13
Reviews: 13

Mon May 23, 2022 2:47 pm
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Apehdavid2 says...

This is very good, laconic and straight to the point. I also wish there could be a figure as such.
I liked the part you said, They would issue a few commandment like " show don't tell lest you go to the writer hell scape"
This strikes me as funny. You combined a lot of elements in this. Nice job

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66 Reviews

Points: 37
Reviews: 66

Mon May 23, 2022 1:19 pm
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BEASTtheHUN wrote a review...

I like the humor of this work, especially, "Should I write crap. they'd chuck lightning". That had me rolling. I like the simplicity of this work. No big words, it just gets right to the point. Good job with that. I wish there was a god of lighting as well. I would probably try to steal their powers though. That's just me.

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95 Reviews

Points: 1014
Reviews: 95

Sat May 21, 2022 2:31 pm
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momonster wrote a review...

hello Horisun! i'm here with a review for you. c:

this poem is so funny. i think it's something every writer can enjoy. i hate editing; it just takes so long to fix everything. it really would be so useful if there was an editor god. granted, i would have to sacrifice my sanity, but my writing would be good!

Should I write crap, they'd chuck lightning

i know because of the rhythm you can't really add any words, but the "they'd chuck lightning" just feel unfinished to me. it feels like ending a sentence before you finish it.

Lest you go to a writers hellscape

i'm actually not sure, but i think you might need an apostrophe in "writers".

I don't believe they'd be unkind

i think this line would flow better if you swapped believe with think.

all in all, i loved it! amazing job. feel free to ignore any part of this review if you disagreed with it. have a great day/night!

Horisun says...

Thank you for the review!

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638 Reviews

Points: 133
Reviews: 638

Wed May 18, 2022 4:49 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...

Quite funny.A god of writing taking the job of an editor! In the end, it’s all the same thing.Yet a writing god would be nice.But it doesn’t make sense when humans can do the job.I enjoyed reading this poem.I think this was hilarious.It’s relatable like always.I never regret reading these poems.I hope that you have an amazing and awesome day and night.

Monster is a relative term. To a canary, a cat is a monster. We're just used to being the cat.
— Henry Wu, "Jurassic World"