Itchy throat,
Runny nose,
Pounding head,
This flu blows!
Just last night
Thought I'd die!
Now I'm here.
Need a cry.
Nope, no rest.
No! No break!
We don't care...
...If I ache.
School's the worst.
I'll get through.
I can't care
If I'm blue.
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Canary word: Present
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,797 Reviews
Hello!
This is a wonderful poem about powering through tough times despite challenges. The narrator describes their symptoms and their disappreciation for them. The narrator recieves declines to rest or take a break, even though they are aching and need to rest. They just need to suck it up and get it over with, which is influencing them to feel like they can't take care of themselves even if they are "blue". This poem can be relatable to millions of individuals currently in school, no matter the age. Most of all students will recieve burnout at some point, and this poem voices the thoughts of many. Many who might not be able to have a voice. Very well done!
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Hey @Thediffident here to wish you a speedy recovery and to review your amazing poetry!
Firstly, I absolutely loved the title you picked out for this poem- "A Little Care". It seems a bit contradicting to the idea of the poem yet it is the thing that is the most essential at the moment. Amazing work!
Let's come to your writing style next. The language and the words used were simple and to the point and it was easy to completely understand and relate to the poem. A lot of us have gone through or is going through the same experience and I could really see myself working late at night with a runny nose while reading your poem lol
Furthermore, I loved the rhyme scheme you made here- ABCB. It adds a sense of harmony and creates a flow while reading your piece for the reader. I also loved how you changed the fonts and indentations in some lines to show the thought process to the readers and make your piece even more relatable. Bravo!
Overall, your piece was quite interesting and extremely captivating. I loved reading every bit of it and hope that you're well now and if not: get some sleep please lol
Looking forward to reading your next piece!
- Andy
Thank you very much!
This poem is a charming and somewhat whimsical take on the common affliction of the flu. The rhyme scheme is playful and bouncy, just like a sneeze or a cough, adding to the whimsical nature of it all. The short, staccato lines perfectly capture the frustration and exhaustion that always come with being struck down with a nasty illness.
The message of the poem is a universal one. We've all been there, right? Feeling less than our best and wishing for a little reprieve. But your poem approaches this subject with levity and humor, essentially reminding us that even in what seem like the bleakest of moments, there is always room for a little laughter!