Young Writers Society

Heyy, Good day to ya!
Wowzers, I really like this one. I have always been fascinated with how different people perceive death, and this is really well done.

"Addressed to Death,
don't take me in my sleep.
I'd like to see you draw near,
before I close my eyes

and disappear."
I really like how it is in the format of letter, and not to mention to the rhymes. I am guessing the line gap in the last line is for the flow, but Im not not entirely certain how to read that?

" I want to greet you like
I would greet a good friend.
On my feet and smiling, 

right before the end."
Personifying death into something more human has been done to death [pun intended ] however I like that you have not mentioned any specific visual characteristic in your perception of it. I am a big believer in having the reader imagine certain elements of the story rather than spoon feed it all.

" I said goodbye to Gran
over the phone one night.
I cried as she tried

to get her words right."
Small but a very effective stanza. Gets through the emotion that you are trying to get across. Familial relations and loss have a chance of connecting with the reader. While it may not work every time, when it does, it hits. Hard.

" I know I have no control
to how my life will end,
but I hope that I can smile

When I see you, my friend!"
I really like the positive outlook on this! It gets pretty repetitive seeing death be regarded as something very dreary and melancholic. I too am guilty of this. While it is certainly saddening when someone dies, sometimes we just need a fresh perspective on it

Overall; Well written and well executed! Well done! I'm not much of a poet myself, but I can appreciate well written work
Thanks for taking the time to read it and have a great day!

This is quite the story, it basically tells that you know when your life ends but in all honesty, you truly don't know when its gonna happen or how its gonna happen, yet its still gonna be painful and it feels as if your life is in deaths hands, death is a god that no one cared to pay attention to, but he makes himself known by killing us one by one even when we don't know that hes creeping behind us.

Hello @Horisun! This is Ina speaking.

I'm not good with words but here's a review. This poem gives me chills, and I read it when it was midnight and cold maybe that's why. It tells that this person is dying and is close to death. And it gives expressive emotions and feelings like once you read it, it'll give you the chills running down you spine. This feels like you are dying but you want to stay because you don't want your loved ones to suffer from the seasons of depression when you die. Especially when I read the stanza:

"I said goodbye to Gran
over the phone one night.
I cried as she tried

to get her words right."

My favorite stanza is:

"If you must steal me
away from this world,
grant me some dignity,

give me the last word.

I know I have no control
to how my life will end,
but I hope that I can smile"

This person hopes to be happy even they are dying, even if their family and friend will suffer from it. It gives hope to the poem. Soemtimes I hear some sad songs and they don't have any hope from it, I find that really weird. Over all, this poem is good. Keep on writing! Merry Christmas too!

You have well accessed a genre that is filled with opportunities. The pleading tone you have taken with Death much mirrors that of the average reader. But this poem is far from average, whilst still being conservative with the emotive language you have invoked a visceral emotional reaction with the average man. Each stanza being 2 lines could mimic the structure of life, having a beginning, middle and end. good job bro.

It’s a well-written piece!

Hi!

I want to start with appreciating the idea of writing a letter to death in the form of a poem. I cannot emphasize more on the fact that it’s innovative.

The first stanza hooks the readers and leaves them in hunger to know more. The imagery paints a picture of a grieving moment. While the second and the third stanzas give clarity to the elegy form. I love how the last stanzas state the reality of life and death. There are things that are beyond our reach. The rhyme catches the attention just like the other elements.

My favorite line “If you must steal me
away from this world,
grant me some dignity,

give me the last word.”

Honestly I would love to recreate this title and add a twist to my take.

It’s a beautifully written piece!

Keep writing!
~Lubna

This poem speaks to the idea of death as a person, a friend, and expresses the desire to face it with dignity and grace. The speaker wants to have the chance to say goodbye and to greet death as they would greet a good friend, on their feet and smiling. The reference to saying goodbye to a loved one over the phone adds a sense of sadness and loss, but also a sense of acceptance and understanding that death is a natural part of life. The poem also touches on the theme of control and the realization that we have no control over how our life will end. However, the speaker expresses hope and a desire to find peace and acceptance in the face of death. Overall, the poem is a reflection on the human experience of mortality and the desire to find meaning and purpose in the face of it.

I liked it.