Go to the library and pick the twenty sixth book on the second-highest shelf from the right. Find that same book at your local book store and look at the name of the book on it's left. Type the four hundred and sixty third sentence into Google. Follow the sixteenth link. Take the first name that you find on that link and go to the best (according to your homeroom teacher) pizza place at exactly 4:48 P.M. and tell the man at the back of the kitchen the name that you found. He will hand you a plate. Take that plate home and heat it in the oven.
After exactly 3 minutes and 56.008 seconds, open the oven door. There will be directions on that plate. Break the plate and make it in a quiche. Follow the directions and leave the quiche there.
The next day at any time between 6:00 P.M. and 11:20 P.M., go back to the spot where you left the quiche. You will find a key twenty paces north from where you left the it. Take the key and go to the school theater directly after the drama director leaves the school. Open the door that's found on stage left. There, you will find a note with a locker number and its combination. Find that locker and open it. In that locker, you'll find a small book. Find its fifth word and go to a music store in the second-closest mall. Open up the case for the fifth used electric guitar that you find on the right. Write that word that you found in the book and set the case on top of a box for a solid gold orange that is found mysteriously behind a small electric piano.
Go back to to that store three days later and look behind one of the posters on the wall. A small note will be taped to it. Go to a shoe store and put the note into a pink slipper. Go into the bathroom for twenty minutes. At any time after the twenty minute mark, a woman will come in and ask you what the second sink and the fourth stall have in common. Go to a jewlery store nearby and ask for a smoothie. The worker will then give you a straw. There will be a message inside the straw. Go back to the shoe store and give the note to the girl with frizzy red hair. She'll then tell the manager that she quits, take you to a water fountain and give you a stuffed bear. Go home and take off the bear's scarf; there will be directions on a note inside it.
Go to a student in the school cafeteria who is eating cherry pie and tell her the directions. She'll tell you a word. Go write the word down on that whiteboard in the library. A student will go over to you and ask you if you liked pecans. Tell them that cherry pie is better and they'll slip you a note with numbers on it. Write those numbers down on the blackboard in your science teacher's room.
The next time that you have her, you'll find a username and password underneath the desk and then go to the computer lab at lunch. Type in the username and password and you'll be logged on to an account. There will be a sticky note on the desktop that has a sentence written on it. Delete the note and the computer will go black. Go talk to your male childhood friend who lives up the street and tell him that you forgot the directions. He'll ask you 'What directions?' and tell him the sentence.
Wait until the last period of the day, five minutes before the bell rings, and then go get the only textbook that's left on the shelf in math class. There will be a locker combination written on page 83. Go to my locker and then you'll find another combination for my locker from last year. There will be a note in the second locker. Find a book title at the library that matches the message on the note.
Go to the office (don't check the book out) and give the book to the people there. The person who receives the book will tell you to hang on for a moment. A few minutes later, she'll return with a woman with crimson hair. She'll lead you to a mysterious room.
They will have been waiting for you there.
Welcome to the O.S.S.I.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,007 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Hello!
That was awesome! I feel like you and Lemony Snicket would get along famously, ever heard of The Series of Unfortunate Events? Or the unauthorized autobiography of Lemony Snicket? Both really good.
Yeah, I read them! (Really good books) I would love to meet Lemony Snicket (Or Pseudonymous Boch),but I'd probably get kidnapped in the process. BUT IT WOULD BE WORTH IT! XD
Oh yeah!
Just found someone who loves the not-commonly-known books I do...
OK, first of all: this was FUNNY. You do deadpan absurdity flawlessly.
I felt that you really told a story about a real person, with your use of the school, pizza place, shoe store, music store, and other (sub)urban locations that the writer of this piece might have known and grown up with. Your choice of objects like "solid gold orange", "frizzy red hair", "male childhood friend", "cherry pie", etc., are just magical in their specificity. Very memorable.
Second of all: I was continually amused by, and interested in, the detail with which you invented each instruction. The story you told, via your choice of details, was at least half the fun of this piece.
This juxtaposition of what might be termed relatively "mundane" surroundings with the mystery of a possible spy mission has suddenly reminded me of my own childhood in American suburbia, where the surroundings are quite boring, and one continually makes up games - often spy missions - to alleviate the dullness. I remember making what I thought were super cool identification cards for me and my neighbors, commando-crawling through the tall grass and getting a slug in my hair, climbing trees in order to spy on the 'enemies', playing with pretend-guns made out of pieces of wood... all kinds of madness.
Your story totally reminded me of all that. Was it your intention to elicit memories of childhood pretend espionage, or is this just a happy accident? If you planned it, then that was seriously clever.
I really like this-I mean, what? I so didn't ignore the whole, "Not Meant to be Read by Any Eyes" bit and ignorantly continued reading!
Problem is I can't bake, there's too many shelves in the library, and I don't have a male childhood friend that lives up the street.
This could be a really good beginning to a story. You know, like a novel. The main character could find this written in chicken scrawl-you know, really messy and hard to read handwriting, and follow the instructions.
My advice is to use paragraphs. I had a hard time reading it all when it was one big chunk of words. Other than that, I love the randomness. And now I'm dying to know what in the world the O.S.S.I. is. What does it stand for?
Oh, welcome to Young Writer's Society! I just scrolled up and saw that your account was just made today. If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask me. I'll try my best to answer them.
Good luck on your writing endeavors!