Juanita gazed at the two-storey house with wide eyes as her red car pulled up onto the driveway. The house had been built out of russet bricks that had been aged drastically by the weather and was dotted with six large, clean windows that reflected the glaring sunlight. A lush green lawn that had been stabbed by a large FOR SALE BY OWNER sign laid out in front of it like a blanket before the pillows. A small garden filled with pansies and an assortment of bushes was propped up against the house.
Juanita remarked that it looked even better than it did on the internet, more like something she’d find in a posh magazine.
Juanita had finally graduated from collage and had quickly found a job as a secretary at a nearby school. She felt as if she had enough money to make the big step out of her apartment and into an actual house. After seeing photos of this house online, she had instantly fallen in love with it. It looked so quaint, nestled in a quiet neighbourhood outside the city. She loved the pictures of the rooms and the yard and felt immediately that she had to buy it. She hoped that something wouldn’t go wrong (something strange perhaps?) or that the owners weren’t burglars or something crazy like that.
Peering into her rear-view mirror, she fixed her amber bun, which had been getting a little lop-sided during the stressful drive there. Taking a deep breath, she got out of her car and walked with brisk steps to the front door.
Ok, Juanita, she though nervously, don’t freak out. Everything’s going to be fine. The people who are selling the house are great; you’ll love them!
Juanita rang the black doorbell and it made a delightful chiming sound. Footsteps could be heard from inside the house, which made her gulp nervously. The door was opened smoothly by a tall woman with short blonde hair and a cheery face. She wore jeans and a plain black t-shirt. Her face was decorated by two moles: one right below her left eye and the other close to the bridge of her nose. Her eyes lit up at the sight of Juanita.
“Hello, are you here for the open house?” she asked.
Juanita was too nervous to speak, so she just nodded.
“Ah, yes, hello. I’m Silvey. Come in, come in. Oh, and what’s your name?”
Juanita felt as if something was clogging her throat, but she did manage to cough up her name as she followed Silvey inside.
“Lovely name for such a fine girl,” Silvey remarked.
So Silvey showed Juanita around the ground floor. She was brought through so many clean rooms, all which had fitting decorations that gave the house some sort of class. She tried not to be biased and go with the first house she visited, but she couldn’t help but be captivated by it all. She wanted to buy the house right away, but she had to keep reminding herself that this was only the ground floor and she still had the rest of the house to go. You couldn’t make an honest opinion after only five minutes, after all.
After they were about to head onto the second floor, Silvey asked if Juanita had any questions.
Supressing the urge to ask if she could buy it on the spot, Juanita told Silvey that she was ready and they moved onto the next floor.
They passed through that floor in minutes and they were just about to head on to the basement when Silvey’s son, Tommy, ran up to them eagerly. He looked around eight years old and had the same blonde hair as his mother and had sparkling green eyes.
“Can I help show her around the basement?” he asked, sounding a bit like he had too much sugar.
Silvey glanced over at Juanita. “Do you mind if Tommy joins us?”
“N-no, no, not at all,” she managed to say.
“Great. I’m sure that you’ll love our cold room. That’s were we’re going next.”
They descended the staircase, walked down a short hallway, and came to a thick wooden door. Silvey paused before opening it.
“This is possibly the highlight of the whole house,” she said eagerly. “It’s our pride and joy. We hate to leave it, but we think that it’s about time. It’s just Tommy and I so we thought that we didn’t need a house this big. It’s too much for taxes than necessary, so we’re moving into a smaller house a few towns over. Saving money is crucial for ta—uh, taxes. Having less! Yes!” She grimaced slightly as if regretting having said that last part.
This made Juanita very excited. She wondered what could be behind the door, especially if it made Silvey herself a little bit nervous. It must be something really cool or unique for it to be the best thing of the tour!
Silvey opened the door and led them into a dark room. She flicked on the lights and the room was revealed to contain several rectangular crates that were covered with plastic wrap. All kinds of these boxes were stacked together or strewn carelessly around the room. A rather large heap of human bodies could be found in the center of the room, along with a few spare crates.
Possibly strangest of all, a picture book was seen laying on one of the crates. Tommy ran over to it and his it behind his back, his face turning red with embarrassment.
Juanita’s eyes grew wide with fear. “W-what are those things?” She pointed at the pile.
“Dead bodies,” Silvey said casually.
Juanita’s mind started to freak out. There were bodies—dead ones—in this house! The owners didn’t even think that it was a big deal! She said it so casually! If they threw around the fact that they had dead bodies in the basement, it was a mystery why hadn’t they been arrested yet.
“Why do you have dead bodies in your cold room?!” she yelled, her voice plagued with fear.
“Well, why don’t we discuss that matter over tea?” Silvey proposed.
Juanita started to back towards the door. Her mind was plagued with questions. Are these people psychopaths? Why the heck do they have dead bodies in their cold room?! Why did they show it to me? Don’t they know that they could get arrested? How is this the highlight of the tour? Me getting stabbed to death and thrown in with the rest of those bodies? I don’t think so!
This was all too much for Juanita. She bolted from the room, up the stairs, and out the front door with speed that would make Olympic athletes jealous.
Dead bodies! The words echoed through her mind, never ceasing to stop.
She got into her car and drove away, speeding through winding streets faster than the speed limit would allow. She thought about calling 9-1-1, but she wanted nothing more to do with that house or those people. They were insane!
Maybe I’ll just stick to my apartment for the rest of my life.
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Hi! It's Orange here to give a review.

This is a really good story. And the humor used here is pretty amazing. I mean it's different and unique.
Your descriptions are pretty good and I really like all of your characters. You describe their appearance and personalities pretty well.
Juanita's shy behaviour actually made me laugh. I mean I'm just like her when it comes to talking to people whom I'm not much familiar with. And the ending is pretty interesting. I mean she was going to buy a house and the woman who own's it just showed her 'dead bodies!' lying inside the house. That's totally unexpected and a great twist.
^_^ Once again, I really enjoyed this story, and I hope you'll never stop writing!!!!
Orange.
Hello!
First off, wow. This was pretty interesting, it was funny and well written. You used some pretty descritptive writing and that made it even more interesting. So this whole story was like, "Well, okay." and then BAM, dead bodies. I feel like the homeowner was going to say that saving money was crucial for taxidermy, which would explain the dead bodies. Then she freaks and gets out, what even just happened?
Great job and keep on writing!
0.0 Wow....I'll say this, it's not the humor I was expecting, yet still funny. I hope this is going to count as a review, but I really can't find anything to fix, which is a good thing.
What really made me laugh about this is the almost exact same thing happened to me, and I really love this part
XD, love it.
So yeah...Great job!
Thanks!