Top Five Things More Disgusting Than Pooping on an Onion
Pooping on onions is gross. Not only gross, but disgusting. But whose second cousin doesn't poop on onions these days?
But your second cousin probably lives with werewolves in the sewers and might contract rabies any day now. So, pooping on onions is probably no big deal to them. But what your second cousin doesn't know is that there are five things more disgusting than pooping on onions, and that's why you shouldn't show your second cousin this.
This is a list of the top five things more disgusting than pooping on onions. And, yes, it actually happened.
(Also, if you poop on onions, you should stop reading this now and ignore anything mentioned above.)
5: Finding a piece of lettuce under a booger on a moldy shower stall
Don't ask what I was doing in the mouldy shower stall. I honestly don't think that I can recover from that.
4: Barfing up a walrus (yes, a whole walrus; even if you haven't eaten one)
This happened to my friend, Bella. I was there when it happened. It was creepy. My other friend, Tyrone, avoided Bella for a whole week after it happened . . . He was there too.
So, yes, a whole walrus. She said that it hurt. I can only imagine.
3: Watching a vampire suck the blood of a deer, see the deer rip open the vampire's stomach, steal its blood back, and explode.
That was not pretty.
That happened when we were supposed to be dissecting a deer for science class.
Then, all of the sudden, our boring science teacher, Mr. Joy, suddenly said, "Students, you are my most trustworthy class. I believe that you--all of you--can carry on my legacy. I believe in you to be like me."
That was when he sucked the blood of the deer we were supposed to dissect, the deer stole it back, and exploded.
So, our school is basically looking for a new science teacher and Tyrone's in therapy.
2: A cockroach crawls into your mouth and down your throat. It comes back up an hour later with an army of hairy creatures made from stomach acid and tries to enslave you and everyone you know
Don't. Ask.
1: Everything around you turning into mouldy pickle
Tyrone, Bella, and I all needed therapy after this one.
We were walking to school together when the ground turned into moldy pickle mush. Then the houses, fire hydrants, and for sale signs all turned to mouldy pickles. We ran from the pickles as fast as we could to avoid turning into some ourselves. But we could not outrun the wave.
Luckily, animals didn't turn to pickles and the curse was over by lunch.
Even though this all happened last May, Tyrone, Bella, and I still get nightmares about all of this. Yay us.
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
You are my new favorite author....
Hurrah!
um...i'm sorry for your loss??? Kinda speechless. Maybe you and Tyrone should see a therapist...
um...i'm sorry for your loss??? Kinda speechless. Maybe you and Tyrone should see a therapist...
...............speechless..............................
...............speechless..............................
Hello
Well first of all, how did you even come up with this? This is actually a very adorable little story which I could totally imagine to be kids book. The title definitely captured my attention and that's why I chose to read this. I like the lightheartedness that is presented throughout the passage, but I think a couple changes can be made. [quote] Pooping on onions is gross. Not only gross, but disgusting [quote/] As the opening line, this really sets the tone for a jokey spirit, but I think you should use a more graphic word, maybe ghastly, vulgar, or vile. By doing this, you can really push the piece forward. Overall I really did enjoy this story, it was very humorous.
kitcat84
I was picking up a bunch of paper and 'pooping on an onion' just popped into my mind. ^^
Okay, don't take this seriously, I just read this because it caught my eye, and this was my reaction...
1. Eyes open wide, and I begin blinking, trying to see if this is real.
2. My mouth hangs open like that of a dead cod fish.
3. I start laughing at the ridiculousness of your story.
4. I wonder why you did this and who the people mentioned are.
5. Final reaction: What. The freaking. Scrub. Is this mess of crazy, freaking awsomeness.
You are either insane, totally scrubbing cool, or a mix of the two that I can't describe. Well done, you have stunned me into ending my random comment!
I am indeed insane.
bfdjiweuyteu3uthjGTRTYUGDERTYU*$%^*(^FKGH
I like you. You're funny.
Oh my gods. That was... horrifying. And slightly funny. But mostly horrifying. And disgusting.
Nitpicks first~
1) mine don't (I hope not o-O),
2) *whose (since we're not saying "who is second cousin" it should be "whose")
Typo alert! This should be sewers.
Oops, I think you mean moldy.
So.
That was one heck of a piece. You must live in a very... scary world for this to happen. Especially for everything to turn into moldy pickles. I am very sorry.
I liked the randomness of this piece - every once in a while a piece like this pops up on YWS. Some find it funny, some find it awesome and some find it plain annoying. I think you really hit the random button. I liked it, though. Very interesting.
I don't have much criticism. None at all, really! Keep writing, and maybe next time on a bit of a serious topic
~ EternalRain
Hi!
Thanks for the review! I fixed those grammar errors as soon as I could.
You're welcome!
Great~