Young Writers Society

Uh, Watt?

Characters:

Mrs. Lemur- stern and fair electricity teacher. She should be somewhat young and wears fashionable grey clothing.

Svetlana- student of Mrs. Lemur. She is a young teen who acts very helpful until she gets frustrated. She wears earthy colours and a scarf.

Lyon- another student. He asks a lot of questions and is always very confused. His style of clothing is very relaxed.

Act one

(Curtains open. Mrs. Lemur’s blackboard and desk (which she sits at) are stage right and a bunch of desks (minimum of seven) sit starting from center stage and spreading towards stage left. Posters are hung to support a classroom feel.)

(Bell rings. Mrs. Lemur gets up from her desk and heads for blackboard as students (including Svetlana and Lyon) file in from stage left and take their seats. Svetlana and Lyon should sit at the front.)

Mrs. Lemur: (Once students are seated) Ok, class, today we will be learning more about electricity.

Random Student: Duh!

Mrs. Lemur: Quiet! The unit of power we will be learning about today is called a watt. (Lyon raises his hand) Yes, Lyon?

Lyon: Is it called a volt?

Mrs. Lemur: (Slightly confused) A watt, Lyon. It is called a watt.

Lyon: Exactly.

Svetlana: No, Lyon. A watt.

Lyon: Exactly, Svetlana, a volt.

Svetlana: No, not a volt, a watt.

Lyon: (Really confused) So it’s not a volt?

Entire Class: EXACTLY!

Lyon: Ok, so if it’s not a volt, what is it?

Mrs. Lemur: A watt.

Lyon: Please, Mrs. Lemur, we know what the question is. You can stop asking it.

Svetlana: (Frustrated) She’s not asking a question, you numbskull!

Mrs. Lemur: (Stern) Please, Svetlana, let me handle this.

Lyon: So what’s the answer to the question? (Several students groan in frustration and sink lower in their seats.)

Mrs. Lemur: There-

Svetlana: (Can’t take anymore of this) THERE WAS NEVER A QUESTION! A WATT IS A UNIT OF POWER! IT IS A WATT! W-A-T-T! WATT! NOT ‘WHAT’!

Mrs. Lemur: Svetlana, I want to see you at lunch. (Svetlana pouts)

Lyon: (Whispers to Svetlana) I think you need to learn how to spell.

Mrs. Lemur: I want to see you too.

Lyon: Why me?!

Mrs. Lemur: One: don’t tell you classmates that they need to learn how to spell. Two: I think I need to explain a couple of things to you.

(Mrs. Lemur resumes teaching as the lights fade.)

Act two

(Lights come back on. Svetlana and Lyon are the only ones who occupy any seats. Mrs. Lemur has not arrived yet.)

Svetlana: (Sighs) Why do you have to be such a moron, Lyon?

Lyon: What did I do?

Svetlana: You got me in trouble.

Lyon: It’s not my fault that you can’t spell!

Svetlana: (Sinks down in her seat and covers her face with her hair) Ugh! You just don’t get it, do you?

Mrs. Lemur: (Enters stage left) I’m back. (Strides to blackboard) Now, Lyon, I need to explain a few things to you.

(Mrs. Lemur begins to write ‘WATT’ on the blackboard and Svetlana starts to bang her head on her desk as the lights fade.)

END OF PLAY