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Uh, Watt?

by HolographicLadybug


Uh, Watt?


Mrs. Lemur- stern and fair electricity teacher. She should be somewhat young and wears fashionable grey clothing.

Svetlana- student of Mrs. Lemur. She is a young teen who acts very helpful until she gets frustrated. She wears earthy colours and a scarf.

Lyon- another student. He asks a lot of questions and is always very confused. His style of clothing is very relaxed.

Act one

(Curtains open. Mrs. Lemur’s blackboard and desk (which she sits at) are stage right and a bunch of desks (minimum of seven) sit starting from center stage and spreading towards stage left. Posters are hung to support a classroom feel.)

(Bell rings. Mrs. Lemur gets up from her desk and heads for blackboard as students (including Svetlana and Lyon) file in from stage left and take their seats. Svetlana and Lyon should sit at the front.)

Mrs. Lemur: (Once students are seated) Ok, class, today we will be learning more about electricity.

Random Student: Duh!

Mrs. Lemur: Quiet! The unit of power we will be learning about today is called a watt. (Lyon raises his hand) Yes, Lyon?

Lyon: Is it called a volt?

Mrs. Lemur: (Slightly confused) A watt, Lyon. It is called a watt.

Lyon: Exactly.

Svetlana: No, Lyon. A watt.

Lyon: Exactly, Svetlana, a volt.

Svetlana: No, not a volt, a watt.

Lyon: (Really confused) So it’s not a volt?

Entire Class: EXACTLY!

Lyon: Ok, so if it’s not a volt, what is it?

Mrs. Lemur: A watt.

Lyon: Please, Mrs. Lemur, we know what the question is. You can stop asking it.

Svetlana: (Frustrated) She’s not asking a question, you numbskull!

Mrs. Lemur: (Stern) Please, Svetlana, let me handle this.

Lyon: So what’s the answer to the question? (Several students groan in frustration and sink lower in their seats.)

Mrs. Lemur: There-

Svetlana: (Can’t take anymore of this) THERE WAS NEVER A QUESTION! A WATT IS A UNIT OF POWER! IT IS A WATT! W-A-T-T! WATT! NOT ‘WHAT’!

Mrs. Lemur: Svetlana, I want to see you at lunch. (Svetlana pouts)

Lyon: (Whispers to Svetlana) I think you need to learn how to spell.

Mrs. Lemur: I want to see you too.

Lyon: Why me?!

Mrs. Lemur: One: don’t tell you classmates that they need to learn how to spell. Two: I think I need to explain a couple of things to you.

(Mrs. Lemur resumes teaching as the lights fade.)

Act two

(Lights come back on. Svetlana and Lyon are the only ones who occupy any seats. Mrs. Lemur has not arrived yet.)

Svetlana: (Sighs) Why do you have to be such a moron, Lyon?

Lyon: What did I do?

Svetlana: You got me in trouble.

Lyon: It’s not my fault that you can’t spell!

Svetlana: (Sinks down in her seat and covers her face with her hair) Ugh! You just don’t get it, do you?

Mrs. Lemur: (Enters stage left) I’m back. (Strides to blackboard) Now, Lyon, I need to explain a few things to you.

(Mrs. Lemur begins to write ‘WATT’ on the blackboard and Svetlana starts to bang her head on her desk as the lights fade.)


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User avatar
60 Reviews

Points: 6670
Reviews: 60

Wed Dec 30, 2015 10:48 pm
Meerkat wrote a review...

Hi, HolographicLadybug!

I was reading this with the voices of Abbott and Costello in my head, which speaks well to your accuracy on the routine.

I liked the gradual escalation of emotion, as Svetlana becomes more and more frustrated with Lyon's idiocy.
From "No, not a volt, a watt."
to "She's not asking a question, you numbskull!"
This part was great.

I wonder if this should be considered skit comedy rather than a play, but semantics are irrelevant, I suppose. Act Two might be unnecessary, as the climax of the joke could just as easily be added to the first section.

Miscellaneous note: "Mrs. Lemur" is quite the comical name. It's one of those animals that are funny for no reason, like "weasel" or "platypus."

Great piece! Have a nice day, and thank you for writing!

Random avatar

Points: 1438
Reviews: 139

Thu Dec 17, 2015 10:13 am
deleted21 says...

xD Hello bug, it was awesome! (I remember writing the same sort of Hello before, have I ever written any review for you? o.O)

Anyway, this was hilarious! Good job. :)

HolographicLadybug says...

I'm not sure if you've written one for me before, but I vaguely remember a hello from you....

User avatar
254 Reviews

Points: 5688
Reviews: 254

Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:21 am
BFG wrote a review...

Hahaha, the old "Who's on first?" routine, eh? I was laughing!

Thanks for taking the time to write this out properly, with good grammar, spelling, etc. Can't be overestimated!

Short and sweet. I like it. I bet you could go one step further with the humor, though. Can you come up with some other funny word confusions that Lyon could have? Have you read any of the Amelia Bedelia books? I'm thinking of those... you know, where someone giving directions says "bear right" and Amelia Bedelia turns left, explaining, "You said there was bear to the right!"

I would take out the second scene. The first one is where the humor resides.

Thanks for a light-hearted piece! Keep writing! :D


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