Pucker up' Buttercup'
Salivate when you think of me.
Empty cup, was it enough?
Diluted for integrity
No one drinks straight lemon juice.
Its always, mixed with some kind of
sweet complimentary distraction
for your own satisfaction
I am not some human mess.
but I am a person that mixing stings
Lemon zest is made of flesh
And they feast on my intestine strings
I look refreshing on my own
But I burn if you leave me alone
Citric acid in my soul
Bleach the freckles off your skin.
Until your ready to begin.
For hundreds of years
With all of my peers
I've stood comingled with their fears
I refuse to be reduced to tears
So hear me, and hear me clear.
Drink straight lemon juice
I want to be of use
So if you need me from now on
Eat me until all is gone
Every human out there to,
remember this applies to you
Drink straight lemon Juice
Bite my rind and learn to chew
Make me be used by you.
Sugar cane, may rule your brain
but I'm worth loving too
So use me and
Drink straight lemon juice.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,794 Reviews
Hi there! Hop back at it with a horribly structured review! >:3
I just want to point this out. I could literally taste the sourness of a lemon and I am a little creeped out. That just goes to show how excellent you imagery was. Like, how you described everything, I could picture it so vividly. It was as if it was happening right in front of my eyes.
It's like at the beginning the POV didn't want to open up. Like it wanted to just block everything and everyone out. Slowly, the perspective changed to that person not wanting to just stay all closed up. It didn't want to be lonely. It wanted to be felt. Heard. I found that really cool.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading my review. Thanks for writing this beautiful poem. Please, continue the good work. Stay amazing! <3
Love,
Hop
thanks!
Well that was certainly not what I was expecting when I saw the title! I really appreciate you're use of imagery here, alluding to flesh and skin gave it a bit of a vibe.
Its a good comparison to how people lie and use flowery words to please others, but really we should learn to take things at face value
I think it's a good poem and there's plenty of people who could benefit to read something like this
Especially in today's world with the internet. How everything is so fake and heavily filtered.
thanks!
though I think you meant to make this a review, not a comment
Hello, this is Astro!
Your writing is quite provocative and immersive. You used repetition, which made the feeling of calling oneself, raw, unsweetened lemon juice all the more real. If I understand this correctly, you mean to say that you will not sweeten yourself up—in other words, flatter, lie, or abide to gross societal norms—just to fit in. (Sorry, gross is a personal opinion.) You speak of your importance despite not being with 'sugar cane' like everybody else. There is a lot of great symbolism in this, and the RHYTHM. The rhythm is absolutely lovely. It sounds deliciously amazing rolling of my tongue, each line short and yet loud in its message. I enjoyed the way it spoke with such strength! I hope to see more of your works! Sorry this is quite disconnected, my thoughts are often all over the place... 💫
Thanks for the review! Its completely fine, its pretty fun to see other peoples interupriations of my work. No one has caught my exact intent yet and its always interesting to see what resonates with people
Awesome poem! I'm not great at interpreting poetry so forgive me if this is a totally botched extrapolation, but I took this to mean so many people love who we pretend to be, not who we are. They only love us if we dilute our sometimes-sour personalities with sugar. The truest measure of love is if someone can accept us for who we are inside, the good and the bad, not just parts of who we are. At least, that's my interpretation.
thanks! Pretty close
Add a melody, and this poem has excellent marketing potential for Life's Orchard. Well done! While we appreciate a good glass of lemonade, there's nothing like raw lemon juice