Grind me up to mar my face
recipe says season to taste
I don't want to go to waste
So please show me my place
They say I'm best in small doses
seek me out when I near physcosis
As the world's last peppercorn
I always knew I could be adored
trust me I know what i'm in for
I am the world's last peppercorn.
Black dust fills my lungs
fragments loved more that its sums
I exhale a cloud of ash
and then your gone at last.
I'm best in small, small doses
I'm best in small, small doses
I can be sharp and bitter
I can be warm and strong
But if you've to much of me
your already gone.
I know that I'm an acquired taste
so if you don't partake
Its better than if you were fake.
hope, trust does not make
I am the world's last peppercorn
Please don't breathe my tainted air
its better if you go
but I still beg you to stay here.
Not worth the meager affection you bother to spare
please use me to season your favorite meal.
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Hello! I’m here to review this terrific poem!
This first line here is very striking, and the lyrical tone that the rest of the poem takes up caught my eye and kept me reading!
I feel like this is filled with metaphors about the underlying nature of relationships, feeling used and unaccepted, and being in abusive relationships in general. The idea of the speaker being a “peppercorn” sort of shows that they have fallen into a stockholm syndrome-like state of acceptance in these interactions. Atleast, that’s how I read it!
This poem is pretty expressive, sort of building up to the last line and affirming its own message.
I hope my thoughts help! Have a good day and keep writing!
thanks
Hello! Valkyria here to leave a short review for your work. Let's get into it:
This was a really great poem. I always enjoy your work. I love the symbolism of the speaker being like peppercorn in their relationships, romantic or otherwise. You give rich description and imagery showing us exactly what's going on in the speaker's head.
These lines stand out to me. They showcase amazing metaphors, but the rest of the poem are full of imagery like these. The rhythm flows well, and I think the line "I'm best in small, small doses" is impactful when it's repeated.
The one critique I have is about the grammar. In some places, you use the possessive "your" when it's supposed to be the contraction "you're" (you are).
For example:
This is grammatically correct.
Overall, excellent job on this poem!
thanks!