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Chrysalis Coffins

by Hawinay


Before I realized you,

Every chrysalis grew and swayed to the beautiful winds you blew. 

Before I waited for you,

Every butterfly fluttered for you, welcome colorful rescue.

Before I followed for you,

Every butterfly could soar on the winds with the mere breath you drew. 
~~

And then when I realized you,

My chrysalises hardened to glass coffins, and nothing for you grew.

And then when I waited for you,

Wings became lost to whispers, paranoia and pain right on perfect cue.

And the when I followed for you,

I spurned those butterflies, despised the love that I felt for you too true.
~~

Now when I remember you,

Chrysalises remain empty in the trees of my memory.

Now when I remember you,

Wings still fall to the whispers, fake rumors to my sheer treachery.

Now when I remember you,

I dream of your solace, and close my eyes to when you treasured me.
~~

And to this day and the next,

I write and I dream of my hopes and failures in simple text.

And to this month and the next,

I bury broken wings, and to you I pay my secret respects.

And to this year and the next,

I rest in chrysalis coffins, and I dream of a life lived hexed.

And to my death and the next,

Bury me as I am, and pray for me to be born unperplexed. 
~~

Now when you remember me,

Paint me true, that my whole life only held shades of sorrowful blue.

Now when you remember me,

Paint me true, I was born deformed, wings that were not simple and new.

Now when you remember me,

Paint me true, knowing I was never going to be good for you.
~~

And when your dreams come to be,

Understand that I have always loved you, 

But you should have never loved me.


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278 Reviews


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Wed Apr 20, 2022 2:02 pm
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MissGangamash wrote a review...



Hello! I really enjoyed this. I liked the repetition used, it made me think of how different moments are between living in them and looking back on them.

From what I gathered from this, the narrator had an idea of what being with this person would be like, then when they actually got together, things weren't as perfect as they had imagined. In the moment, it was painful, but now when they look back on that time they just feel sad and empty. To me, that shows that they have moved on. It is obviously something they will always remember, but those bad memories don't carry any weight anymore.

The second half of the poem confused me a bit (but I will say poetry is not my thing.) To me, I think it shows that the narrator is a little glad that they had had this time with this person because it's reshaped them. It's sort of a 'thank you for putting me through that so I can now be better and treat myself better.' And they are also saying, you may have twisted things when we were together, making me the bad guy, but I hope now when you look back, you will know that I was not the problem. All I wish is for you to understand what you did.'

I'm interested in the last stanza. Particularly the final line. Does it mean that this person never deserved to love them? Or maybe, you should have never loved me because you didn't know how to.

Overall, I enjoyed this! It got me thinking. (And it is also a little relatable)




Hawinay says...


Thank you for the review, and I am glad that you enjoyed reading this poem!

I am always interested in how others interpret my poems. One thing I will say is that I never reveal what the intentions of my poetry are, instead, I stay as anonymous as I can for the reason being that one cannot attach feelings to something they don't know. I write poetry to call to the other sides of my readers and have them discover something they never realized they needed. Being anonymous in all ways allows them to focus entirely on themselves, so to answer your question with another;

What does the last stanza mean for you? Does it feel right to end it as they never deserved to love you, or because they didn't know how to?





I think I see it as you should have never loved me because you then disrupted my fantasy of you. If it had all stayed a fantasy and it was one sided then it would have been better. I could have loved you from a distance and been safe



Hawinay says...


That is a beautiful end to it. I can see where you come from, fantasy love always hurts less when we are the one who creates the limits to pain.



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Tue Apr 19, 2022 2:50 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...



I think this is about how you feel with one-sided love.Or maybe you feel as if your love was never meant to be.Like it’s too good to be true,like it was only ever a beautiful dream.Like the love isn’t and never will be enough.I liked reading this.This was lovely.I hope that you have an amazing and cool day and night.




Hawinay says...


Thank you for the review!

It often feels that way, always feeling as love is one-sided, and only equal when you dream.




"And what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures or conversations?"
— Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland