Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for violence.
I have felt more mercy in the teeth of starving dogs,
then I have from the foul pleasantries of man,
and the faithfully saved still die screaming.
I am not being punished for my woeful sins,
I am the punishment, decadent, divine, and damned,
but do I still taste sweet when I am rotten, fermenting,
am I the wine, the blood you drink at mass of christened bodies,
or is that too much to ask,
how unforgivable of me, to think I deserve godly praise.
Condemn me and consume me,
I am a broken creature, docile, devout, and defiled,
and my tears are cruel inventions to grow a sea,
to season my flesh with yesterday’s remembrance.
As if the gods dissected their own creation,
only to whisper frail apologies into the disintegrating thread of my flesh,
how callous of me, to think godly hands gentle.
Love feels like abandonment,
a simple confession to my nervousness rejection,
silence dramatized that love leaves with no longing,
masking faces in performance, smiles dedicated to perfection,
and fatigue sits heavy in simple souls.
Yet you command me to serve my crippled soul on plated gold,
then beg of me to ask if my taste is eloquent, exquisite, and emaciated.
How cruel of you, to give me no peace of death,
and how starved am I to even dream?
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139,362 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
This poem is absolutely beautiful. This is the kind of writing I strive to have! It is incredibly imaginative and woeful. As I read it, I thought this would be wonderful if sung by Hozier, as he often has religious themes in his songs.
I'm not sure who this character is, but they seem deeply troubled by life, if they even are still alive. I imagined this as a villain in a story, but the writing was so well placed that they didn't seem all evil, just troubled.
"I am the punishment, decadent, divine, and damned,
but do I still taste sweet when I am rotten, fermenting"
WOW! This made me fall for them; it is so tragic and beautiful at the same time. I would again love to hear this sung. I love writing, I can read over and over and find different meanings in it. So well written, good job!
Thank you for the review. I haven't given much thought to turning my poems into songs, but it is an interesting idea, since music often stems from poetry. To me, villains stem from troubled natures, but where trouble grows, darkness festers, and the rabid diseases of it all take over. Inherent evil is just a thought, but troubles can contribute to what is already sprouting.
Okay wow, that was a lot. This is an amazing poem and I’m gonna do my best to review it.
This is amazing, it took me a minute to understand what the Meaning was (I’m still a bit lost) but even though I struggled with the meaning, you portrayed the emotions amazingly.
“I have felt more mercy in the teeth of starving dogs,
then I have from the foul pleasantries of man”
That is my favorite part, great opening. I was hooked and wanted to see what this could be about, that intro could have lead this poem many ways and I was instantly interested. You have a great way with words and you didn’t repeat a lot, you used a large vocabulary which definitely made the poem much better.
Anyway keep up the great work, you’re amazing. Mwah mwah
-STARRYY
Thank you for the review! I write not for one single meaning, but for the meaning of many. Everything I write can be interpreted towards a person or genre in different senses, depending on how they read and the life they live.