Young Writers Society

Hey Hawinay! looseleaf here with a review.

First off, I really liked this poem! The theme I interpreted is great and I enjoyed reading this poem. I may go as far as to say I wish it was longer. >.> I also love your formatting! It helps the poem flow more than it would if you orientated it to one side/the center of the page.

I don't have any grammar critiques, but I did find one capitalization issue.

He loved what she was, not who she is.

Hello!

This is a very interesting poem with many possibilities for interpretation. The first portion, I think, is about a man who realises that, this whole time, he's been loving a memory of someone who has since changed. He's taunted by who she used to be, wishing desperately that she would come back, but she can't.

The next part is more interpretive, but I did a bit of research into the Egyptian underworld, and I learned that the first step to get to 12 gates of hell is a river in the sky. When the man was praying, his soul separated from his body, and he entered the river, but he wasn't focused on returning to his body - instead, he worked to cleanse himself of everything. Perhaps he saw the river to bathe in and didn't realise it was a part of the Underworld until it was too late.

In the end portion, the man has found rest after completing the trials and judgement, and has found peace. I'm not sure at all how to interpret puzzles and papyrus. I know that they wrote on papyrus at the time, so perhaps he was able to see his poems, the things he wrote for the woman he'd loved, and was unable to make them out. However, I did do some further research and discovered that papyrus represented new growth in ancient Egypt, so the man maybe started again in the Underworld and did his best to forget the woman he'd loved, though who she'd become and his love for her still proved a puzzle.

Overall, this poem was very lovely (and a puzzle to itself)! Your writing style is very soothing, and the formatting adds abstraction, which is very significant in a dreamlike poem such as this one. It's fantastic!

Keep writing!
Wayward

Hello!

Wadding - Wading

fishing for hopes - fishing for hope

walks the tight ropes - walks the tight rope

Now that's done! I agree with the analysis of vampricone6783, and I think this a feeling that - sadly - a lot of people have.

'memories that taunt' I think is him looking back on good memories and bad. The good taunt because its a 'what could have been' type thing, and the bad being 'why hadn't I seen this happening sooner' type thing.

The 'tight rope' could be him choosing whether to stay in the relationship or leave.

Overall, a nice little poem!

I think that the first part of the poem could be the guy discovering he doesn’t love someone as much as he thought he did or at all.The second part is him appreciating peace but loving danger more.The last part is him not rushing into things but dreaming as much as he can.I think this poem was about someone discovering their inner self.I hope you have a fantastic day/night.