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Unfinished Business

by GrymmRipper


The nagging guilt of unfinished business,

Procrastination.

The need to do and not do,

The lists.

Reminders.

"Remind me if I forget"

I forget,

And you forget.

Forgotten.

Remembered,

But then, laziness.

GrymmRipper :]


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29 Reviews


Points: 38
Reviews: 29

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Fri May 29, 2020 10:08 pm
Beautifulsparkle wrote a review...



I like your poem, it reminds me that i have to study something for tomorrow and that i'am procrastinating. It's a little funny how a poem can bring out many memories and list of responsabilities or better yet, chores. Humanity usually procrastinates at things they must achieve urgently no master the absurdity of the challenge whilea smaller part of them are, in my opinion a little workacholic, never leaving anything for today to be dona tommorow. It's hard to way which extreme is better.On the one hand, if you're lazy you're never going to advance in life, forever stuck in a bubble of comfort, on the other hand if you work too much, life will pass you by and you'll never get to enjoy it. I believe one must have moderation in almost all things. And you're right, procrastination really is "the nagging guilt of unfinished business".




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Fri May 01, 2020 1:23 am
Alianovna says...



great very relatable piece. a creative creation yet still a common thought. It made me giggle how it ended in a loop but was not mush of comedy it still reads as a powerful piece.You did use the word forget many times . thank you for the pleasure of getting to read your work ♥




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46 Reviews


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Sun Apr 26, 2020 3:37 am
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IconspicuoslyAlpacaing wrote a review...



Hey there! This poem was certainly relatable, but I have an issue with it. I feel like if the summary hadn't told me what the poem was about, I wouldn't have gotten it. The way its written is great, but it reads as far too dramatic, in fact, if I hadn't known it was about procrastinating, I'd assume it was a poem about negligence and sloth toward loved ones. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with drama in comedic poetry, I'd suggest amp up the drama in the "serious" lines, and really pushing the contrast when something is supposed to be comedic. Comedy is hard, I get that, but I'd rather read a poem that I know is comedic that isn't all that funny, than a poem that I have to be told was comedy. Y'know?

But I digress. This poem was still awesome, and I'm glad that National Poetry Month is being honored. :D




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211 Reviews


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Sat Apr 25, 2020 4:48 pm
whatchamacallit wrote a review...



Hello GrymmRipper!

This poem is definitely very relatable, and you describe procrastinating very accurately. I am in fact procrastinating school work at this very moment :)

The poem is very short and simple, and while it is very effective, you could definitely expand on it. If you felt inclined, it would certainly be interesting if you made a second stanza describing the repercussions of not doing things, but that's really just something up to you, if you feel like it would fit into the poem.

One thing I would like to mention is repetition, especially of the word "forget". It is used in four consecutive lines (I'm including the word "forgotten"), and I would personally suggest trying to vary the vocabulary to make it more engaging and interesting. You could try using words such as "neglect", "ignore", "overlook", and "oblivious".

Otherwise, this is a great poem! It's very short, so my review is a little short too, my apologies.
I hope you found this helpful, and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

Keep writing!

Whatcha




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14 Reviews


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Sat Apr 25, 2020 4:16 pm
ryleigha says...



Hi there!

I find it hard to review poetry because, with all art, the opinion depends on the viewer. I really like the observation of the human condition especially during these times. I know that I am more inclined to procrastinate and forget more and more about myself and the outside world. Poetry is supposed to make you think about something, and you managed to do that beautifully!




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14 Reviews


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Sat Apr 25, 2020 4:15 pm
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ryleigha wrote a review...



Hi there!

I find it hard to review poetry because, with all art, the opinion depends on the viewer. I really like the observation of the human condition especially during these times. I know that I am more inclined to procrastinate and forget more and more about myself and the outside world. Poetry is supposed to make you think about something, and you managed to do that beautifully!




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Sat Apr 25, 2020 10:52 am
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BhavyaMehta123 says...



Hi! Not exactly a review .This is everyone's story.We all put reminders but when time comes to do that particular thing procrastination surrounds us. This too relatable especially, in these times.
This is a nice little poem.And, I liked it.
All the best for your future works and Keep Writing!
From: Bhavya.





We are all broken. That's how the light gets in.
— Ernest Hemingway